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Encountering
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I've been staying at home for over 3 days,doing nothing but reading on line and playing games.But today I have to be out,because my brother called me this afternoon,asked me to attend a wedding dinner for him.
These days I seldom get out,so I first took the chance to go to pay the phone charges,then went for the dinner.After that,it was near the sunset. I suddenly realized that there were few fruits left at home,so I decided to buy some.
I went to the old kind woman who I often buy fruits as usual.I didn't know that I would encounter her.
I got off my motorbike near the fruit stand,where a few people crowded it selecting the fruits.At the moment a notion came into my mind:what if she was trying to buy fruits like me here?Then I smiled for I knew it was impossible.You might say that I've got the feeling because I missed her so much,but I knew I seldom thought of her these days.
Just at that moment,I was patted on the shoulder.When I turned back,I saw her smiling face like an blossoming flower.I almost couldn't move at all as if I got shocked, knowing nothing to say.
"Hey!"She greeted me with a smile."Hi! long time no see."I tried to smile at her,but I didn't know if it worked successfully."Yeah,you're right."She answered.
She looked still as beauful as before,no, much more beautiful than before.She was in a very fine jeans suit,standing there like a shining nice orchid.Comparing with her,I just wore rags,with unshaved beard,which I was just criticized by my father for it this afternoon.I couldn't help smiling bitterly.
She seemed to become a little shy to meet my eyesight.Before I got out of the shock,she'd turned around and went away,leaving an old woman who seemed like her mother bending and picking the fruits on the stand.
Then I did the shopping as if I was nightwalking.I heard the fruit seller boast how good and sweet her fruits were,paid and took the oranges.But actually I didn't care at all.There seemed to be a ball made of the water wrapped me,which separated me from them.What they said and did seemed like kind of untrue to me.I was just like in a dream.
Just I got on my motorbike and was about to leave,I turned back and took a glance.A middle-aged man with glasses who seemed like her father was riding a motorbike towards the fruit stand,with her on the motorbike's back seat.I heard her mother said that her family were out to attend a wedding dinner...
With a sigh,I looked up into the sky and then started the engine, left.
After one or two years,I thought I'd forgot her completely,but......Placing the hand on the left side of my bosom,the thing I thought it had been icy cold like a stone seemed to crack again somwhere.There seemed to be some liquid oozing out of it.
I smiled self-mockingly:what a fragile thing it is to be.
Missing grows like the wild grass,which I did weed it out.Now the spring has come,do you also wanna reach out of the ground?
I've been an otaku these years,always staying alone in the room,for few things outside can attract my attentions.Since the day she said the two-letter word to me,my world seemed to be colorless.Every time I looked at the man in the mirror,who is the most familiar as well as the most strangest person in the world to me,the color of the dead burned ashes in the eyes.I found three gray hairs in my left sideburns.That was my first time that I found the gray hairs on my head.
I know I'm old,lazy and isolated.And the most important of all,I'm the one who has no right to love.Maybe I'm just the so-called legendary "Goddamned Lonely Star"?(smiling)
So I bend down my head,praying:God,you sent me to this world,where I was given and plundered,but it's OK.I don't care.I can take whatever you've given me,and you can take them them away from me at any time,anywhere.
As long as my heart still beats,the blood still runs in my body,I still have the dreams to dream.
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Post comment Comment (10 replies)
- Reply zhangxuheng
- There must be someone you will know, someone you must face, someone must be recalled, someone must get your eternal love
- Reply JulietPartridge
- "I'm the one who has no right to love."....i always have this kind of thoughts....i don't know whether i will meet someone right in the future...but i hope u can..and i believe you can...trust me...i am a girl..girls will appreciate those guys who are brave and diligent..don't look down upon on yourself and don't give up easily if you get refused.....someone will be just near the corner to let you find out...and shine in your life...
- Reply adck
- JulietPartridge: "I'm the one who has no right to love."....i always have this kind of thoughts....i don't know whether i will meet someone right in the futuThanks for what you've told me.
But there are always some things that you cannot control in the world.It might be more complex than you could imagine.
Except for sighing,what else can we do?
- Reply wenchao_617
- buddy, just hold on!!! Everything gonna be OK..My childhood was even worse!!
- Reply JulietPartridge
- pursuing for something else....pursuing for others...life will not stop..
- Reply adck
- kezaer: Try to date with her. Come closer to your goddess.After being refused several times,there's no meaning to do it again.
Love is not everything,there are many things that are worth valuing.
Being not able to get what I want,I still have my dignity,which is the last thing that I keep.
PS:she's just a little girl who almost knows nothing but Korean TV serials,not your so-called godess.
