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help,i wanna someone help me to correct the composition
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Today my friend write a composition to practice cet6,i wanna someone helps to correct the composition.
Working in a large modern city
In recent years,it becames more and more difficult to find a stasified job.in spite of this,but most graduated students still want to have a good job in a large city.
The reasons as follows:in the first place,in their opinion,if they work in a large modern city,they will gain more oppotunities to show themselves as possible as they can.The next,all of the youth like to persue the new things,obviously,if they work in a large modern city,their dream will come true.
Although there are so many advantages for graduates to work in a large modern city.
However, there are some others,who hold the opposite views to this topic.They think comparated with working in a large modern city,they prefer to work in a small city also canimprove the personal abilties, the most important is that there has a quiet and peaceful circumstance if we work in a small city.
As far as my concerned,i don't think it's very good for every graduates to work in a small city.Everyone is unique ,so,u can choose the best way to shoe yourself.it's up to u.
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- Reply C.Robert
- Today my friend write (wrote) a composition to practice cet6, i wanna someone helps (I want someone to help my friend) to correct the composition.
Working in a large modern city
In recent years,it(space in between comma and word) becames (became) more and more difficult to find a stasified (satisfied) job.in spite of this,but (you can not use in despite of and but after each other) most graduated students still want to have a good job in a large city.
The reasons as (the reason is as follows) follows:in (space) the first place,in(space) their opinion,if (space) they work in a large modern city,they (space) will gain more oppotunities to show themselves as (much as) possible as they can.The next (secondly),all of the youth (young people) like to persue the (without the) new things,obviously,if (space/space) they work in a large modern city,their dream will come true.
Although (although?) there are so many advantages for graduates to work in a large modern city.
However, there are some (without some) others ,who hold the opposite views (view) to this topic.They think comparated (compared) with working in a large modern city,they prefer to work in a small city also canimprove the personal abilties (abilities), the most important (reason/argument/point/fact) is that there has (is) a quiet and peaceful circumstance (environment?) if we work in a small city.
As far as my concerned (concern),i don't think it's very good for every graduates (graduate) to work in a small city.Everyone is unique ,so,u (you) can choose the best way to shoe (show) yourself.it's up to u. (you)
General remarks:
1. The use of spaces is not correct. Only one 'space' in between words.
2. Check the use of multiple and single forms
3. Check the time
4. Check how to use comma's and spaces
5. Check the spelling of difficult words
- Reply olivia_xu2010
- My lever is like you, so we can improve together.What's more, be grateful for C.Robert's remarks.
