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My past and my present

Hot 5731 views. 2014-5-12 23:14 | happiness, positive, present, because, person

What is happiness on earth? I have tried hard to live a happy life,but it does not turn out be very ideal.Sincerely,I am a positive person,because I have experienced a very hard life since I was  only a child.When I was a little kid, the only thing I wished was my parents could live in the peace,however,they always quarreled with each other,sometimes even hurt each other,at that time ,I really could not understand their world.I was very sad,I just hoped I could have a harmonious family.My father was bad tempered,and easily angry,so he was a strict father and husband.He was the most terrible person in my mind when I was a child.When he was at home,I even dare not speak.The most wonderful time I remembered was my mom and dad got on well with each other.Maybe when I started to go to middle school,my family condition began to be worse.The only reason was my father got some kind of disease,very serious,and we spent all the money to cure him,but not totally recovered.Due to the poor economic condition,my daughter required to give up her study and went out to earn money.At that time,other peers would spent their spare time to play games after finishing their work,while I could not.I had to help my mom do all kinds of farmwork and housework.The last thing I want to do was asking my parents for money.Nobody could imagine,we had only 200yuan for the whole family,while that money was used to buy medicine for my father,but ,I still remembered our school required us to hand in 200yuan to afford the tuition.I did exactly know our family condition,so I cried to beg my parents let me give up study and go out to earn money.But my dad strongly disagreed.He said,he wanted me to go on studying even if he sold our house.My heart was very painful,I did not want to take that money,because that money was used to save my father's life.Back to school,I set up my mind and sweared in my heart that I had to work hard,I had to live up to my father's expectations.Though,I tried my best,I only entered a common high school.Again,I wanted to give up,because our family would face a big sum of tuition.While,my parents still persisted.With their great hope,I started my high school life.Every day,I spent all the time to study without any entertainment.I always thought I was not smart.The first exam held at school set me at the last five in the whole class with sixty five students.I felt that desperated because my efforts did not have reward and I thought I  let my parents down.But they did not blame me,at the opposite they encouraged me,they said I was their hope.I gained great power from my parents.Every morning I was the first person to get up in the whole dormitry,and the last person to go to sleep,every night I would curled up under my quilt with a electric torch on to study in case of disturbing others ,and fell asleep holding my book or pen and with my electric torch on until its power exhausted.At that time,there were only three things in my mind,one was my parents were painstaking and they were doing all they could do to earn money for me;anther one was I had to do my best and beared all the difficulties that others could not to study well;the last thing was to tried my best to save money.I remembered,I only spent seventy to eighty yuan for a month,every meal,I only buy some Mantou.I had to admit that kind of life I could never forget.Luckily,I had chances to study in a very good university due to my moderate test scores in the college entrance examination.I believed that moment when I told my parents this news ,they were unprecedently happy.At that time,I was really happy,I lived up to my parents' expectations,I proved to be an excellent one in front of people,I earned pride for my parents in front of those people who once looked down upon at our family.In the college,I did not adjust to the life there when I first arrived there.I came from a poor family,I did not have qualification and confidence to go shopping with other female classmates.Similarly,I chose to put myself into study.Except sleeping,I spared all my time studying.And I got the No.1 in my class for the first term.I let other students start to pay attention to me and gradually they found my strong determination and persistence for study.A majority of them admired me from their bottom heart.For the first time,I enjoyed the feeling that being adored.And I started to embrace a new life.Before,I did not have friends,while more and more classmates realized my good merits,they positively made friends with me.For the first time,I felt I was not lonely in the college.To relieve my parents' economic burden,I just took 7000yuan from my parents,while the tuition is 5600yuan,it was to say there was only 1400yuan left for me for the whole term.Every day,besides studying,I exhausted all my mind to consider how I could earn money and not affect my study.Until one day ,I saw some advertisement for recruiting tutors.I thought I could do nothing except studying .So I tried,and I succeeded.But I had to take nearly two hours bus trip to the student's home.They gave me twenty yuan for a hour to teach a high school student.To earn more,I found another family,and they gave me only fifteen yuan for an hour ,because their child was a primary school student.For all the weekends,I would attend to teach the students,by taking bus for nearly 4 hours for the round trip and earned nearly sixty yuan for a day.I was very happy and satisfied ,because I could afford myself.This kind of life continued for the later three years,even I was preparing for my postgraduate school examination,I still persisted tutoring the students.After I graduated from the college,all the graduates went back home,but I did not.I chose to stay at school to earn money by tutoring others.But I did not have place to live,almost all students went back home when the summer holiday came.So the dormitry did not allow students to live let alone I had graduated.I begged the administer aunt in our dormitry to let me live in the dormitry.At last she permitted.I did not know there was a big challenge waiting for me.I was the only person live in the whole floor and there was no power not only the daytime or the evening.For the first night,I was that scared,but I encouraged myself to be brave and persuade myself to think about happy things and think about my mom and dad.For several days,I did not find a tutor job,then I choose to go out and poster advertisement in resident area.Fortunately,I found one and then anther one and another one.I taught several students all day,they ranged from high school to primary school.For the high school curriculum,I had to do some revision at night when I went back to my dormitry.Because there was no power,so I could only read by the light of the street light outside.That period of time was the most tired and hard time that I had ever experienced.For the whole summer vacation,I spent only ten days at home,and more than one month I was earning money.Ultimatedly I earned more than 5000 yuan.And these money was used to afford my expenses for my postgraduate study.Luckily,the postgraduate school periodically gave us some money each money as the allowance for our daily life.Though,the condition was better than anytime,I still saved the money except the expenses on meals.I was even reluctant to buy a new clothes.I did not ask money from my parents since I entered the postgraduate school.Instead,I would gave my parents the money I saved at school when I went back home.I was more than 25years old,the harvest I had gained so many years was I became more and more mature.I found that maturity was a good thing and also a bad thing.The good side was I knew how I should do to make my parents happy and communicate with others and to have consideration for others.While,the bad side was I felt more and more tired and stressful.Just because I was mature,so I always did those things that I actually did not want to do,I was always the person to bear all the things.When my mom encountered something unhappy or they encountered some difficulties,she always complained to me,of course my mom was not intended to ask me to do something or put extra pressure on me,but I really put her words and the things she mentioned into my heart.I dreamed to solve all their problems,though my ability was limited,I chose to do whatever I could to make their life more happy and better.Because I was hardworking,some seniors would ask me to do this or to do that,all kinds of things,there were always tasks waiting for me to do.I chose not to say no,because I had to leave a good impression on others.I was bad tempered,before,I always chose to lose my temper when my boyfriend was not mature and behave bad in his study and life.But now I chose to bear all his shortcomings because I knew he loved me and I loved him,I hoped our love could last forever,so I wanted to get on well with him even if I felt unhappy.My sister and brother sometimes would also have problems,they did not live a rich life,Periodically,I would give them a call to ask whether they live well.I was the second child in our three children family,but I always acted as a big sister in our family.Whenever my parents,my sister or my brother encountered problems ,they would choose to talk to me.I had to say it was my honor to be that listener.But,I had never been so tired,so distracted.Not just once,I asked myself,why my life was so hard,Why I should bear things that my peers do not need to bear,why I was that mature,why I can not ignore other people's feelings.Whatever,I was thankful to these matters,because they make me become more and more tough and strong.I am not complaining here,I am just telling myself I have experienced so many difficulties and so many hard time,I could be proudly speaking I have lived a very meaningful life and I am so lucky to experience these things that others may not have chances to experience.Though,now I am a little tired and painstaking,I believe all the things I do is worthwhile,I live up to others.Now I recognized that happiness is all the people I love are healthy and live well.Despite of the difficulties and challenges,I have to fight not for myself but also for those people cared about me.Only I really become strong,then I can have the ability to solve some problems that I can not solve for the present time.As long as I fulfill myself with ability,I could protect my parents and give them a better life,and I could do more things for my beloved.So just remember the past,and fight for the present and look forward to the future!

Post comment Comment (15 replies)

Reply Catherine陈 2014-5-13 07:36
If tired , have a rest !And then go on !
Reply samanthe 2014-5-13 14:26
dear, don't be so hard, take it easy, you do are a excellent girl, believe in that you smile to the world,and the world will smile to you, just be happy and hopeful. cheers
Reply sunnyv 2014-5-13 18:53
You can survive anything if you can survive all those things that happened to you. Life is never meant to be easy. Everyone has to suffer some adversities, hardship o distress at some time of their lives.

Life does not be so hard. You are a healthy and compassionate person. Life would improve as time goes by. Things should improve when you start earning a regular salary. Have hope.
Reply dphpxs 2014-5-13 21:07
You wrote it so tirelessly!
Reply RainbowCH 2014-5-15 22:28
My past life is similar to yours and even more worse than you.i was born in a very very harmonious family. I had a pleasurable childhood. I gradually grown up with my parents love and care. However, I lost all of these cherished things several years ago. I don't know the reason, and I yet understand why these unfortunate things happened to me. My parents passed away du to incurable disease...  These unfortunate things make me learned that I am in charge of myself.  We ought to struggle for ourselves future. Pay back to everyone we loved and cared in the future as soon as we are strong.
I do believe in that the hard past educated us confidence, persistence,responsibility, industry and so on. So I appreciate it. Now, just like you, I will graduate from USTC this summer with my master degree. And then go abroad to study for my PhD.
Sincerely speaking, I think we deserve success and happiest life. Wish u all the best. My kind friend.
Reply sweetapple 2014-5-16 20:50
Catherine陈: If tired , have a rest !And then go on !
OK,I would,thanks
Reply sweetapple 2014-5-16 20:51
samanthe: dear, don't be so hard, take it easy, you do are a excellent girl, believe in that you smile to the world,and the world will smile to you, just be hap ...
you are right,I would take your advice,be happy and hopeful,and I do believe everything could get much better.
Reply sweetapple 2014-5-16 20:52
sunnyv: You can survive anything if you can survive all those things that happened to you. Life is never meant to be easy. Everyone has to suffer some adversi ...
Thanks for your comfort.I would keep positive.thanks
Reply sweetapple 2014-5-16 20:58
dphpxs: You wrote it so tirelessly!
a little more things to say,sorry to trouble you
Reply sweetapple 2014-5-16 21:12
RainbowCH: My past life is similar to yours and even more worse than you.i was born in a very very harmonious family. I had a pleasurable childhood. I gradually  ...
so sorry to hear what you say.I could sense that you have became strong,and I believe your parents would be proud of you and they would always be alive in your heart.Anytime,we should try to live a better and happier life,not only for ourselves but also for those who love us.Whatever difficulties we encounter,they would pass away as time goes by.Just as you've said,the hard past educated us confidence,persistence,responsibility such things.I will treasure every chance that the heaven give me to experience and learn something.Wish us success and pleasure.Wish you have a better life and future.
Reply sunnyv 2014-5-16 22:31
RainbowCH: My past life is similar to yours and even more worse than you.i was born in a very very harmonious family. I had a pleasurable childhood. I gradually  ...
It is hard to imagine such a terrible past. You have overcome all those pains and on the path of success. Actually, nobody can enjoy the fruits of life unless he has gone through some sort of suffering. People won't know how good daily food is until he has suffered true hunger. You are kind to let us know about your life so that others can appreciate what they have now. Wish you the my friend.
Reply sunnyv 2014-5-16 22:31
RainbowCH: My past life is similar to yours and even more worse than you.i was born in a very very harmonious family. I had a pleasurable childhood. I gradually  ...
It is hard to imagine such a terrible past. You have overcome all those pains and on the path of success. Actually, nobody can enjoy the fruits of life unless he has gone through some sort of suffering. People won't know how good daily food is until he has suffered true hunger. You are kind to let us know about your life so that others can appreciate what they have now. Wish you the my friend.
Reply dphpxs 2014-5-17 00:11
sweetapple: a little more things to say,sorry to trouble you
Why trouble? I was speaking highly of your passion!
Reply RainbowCH 2014-5-17 16:40
thank you very very much, I really enjoy the words you said:Anytime, we should try to live a better and happier life, not only for ourselves but also for those people we loved.
Reply RainbowCH 2014-5-17 16:46
thanks for your wishes. let us fight for the bright future together.

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