LY is right, yes, I am back again after disappeared for such a long time. But unexpectly, the first blog since my returning, it is some kind of complain... I am lost again...
It is already almost half a year since I garduated, which means I have already worked six momths in this company, however I am still not happy, I don't know where the problem is.
 This is not a well-known company, so the HR promised me a better treatment than other graduated since I graduated from a famous university when she hired me, and I was tired of seeking for jobs that time ,just had the thought of ending the seeking, so these are two main reasons that I chose it at last.
Maybe I had put too big a hope on it, I was very very disappointed when I first came here seeing its working building and the  dormitory. But I told myself maybe things will become better when we moved to BJ. So I accepted the fact. 
When I get started to work, I was disappointed again, the work is such no-technique, all the work are based on the previous work, no innovation, I even don't have to wondering why, at first I would ask them why would do like this while not in that way, but later, I found it is useless, seldom know why, though my company is called some kind of "design", but our work has nothing to do with "design", Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V will be alright.And the payment is very little, and as much as I know. I was nothing special than them at present. The work, the environment, the payment, seems ecerything is unstaisfied, and what's more, I was the only one who graduated from 211, it incrediable for a company...I don't know why I should stay here, what I can learn here, though its mother company belongs directly to our country. I want to quit, but everyone will persuade me to stay longer when they know my thoughts, they said that I don't have a right attitude, I should learn as much as I can since I just graduated.
I tried to persuade myself that everything must have its reason for existence, since I have already been here, I would accustomed myself to it, and as they say, learn as much as I can, but I still feel confused when considering of my future, I am really confused, I can't see the way forward, I don't know where to go.
I have alreay chose a wrong job for the first time without fully consideration, I should consider more when I seek for the second, right? But unfortunately, I don't know what I can really do, and also maybe what I really want.....
AH.....so confuesd, and I don't know how to express fully in English, such a long time of no-touching of English, I found it becomes harder to express, or the situation itself is harder to express? I don't know, I don't know.... My brain seems don't work rihgt now.
Confusing, confusing, I really don't know  what to do, where to go...