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Feel so sorry about myself

Hot 61373 views. 2014-6-22 09:35

  Today, I saw a published-status of my friends, who became a french teacher now, which made me feel so sorry about myself.

  Honestly, I envy her, for this kind of job was once one of my dreamings. I feel so much interest in learning languages, and I like english, this is the reason I choose to work in a foreign-owned company, but this is not the point today.

  Reviewing my life today, the only thing I regret about my life is the choice of my major. I really should insist on my thoughts that time, but I feel less confidence of my future, and knew nothing about those majors, god knows that. I wanted to choose English to be my major, it's the only one I want to choose, but mom said "what would be your adventage to choose english as your major while everyone else learns english too at college". I don't know either, so I couldn't answer her that time. So I listened to her advice. But I feel sorry for myself. Now what I am doung is not what I'm good at. And what I dreamed of going to be is a translater or a language teacher. If I really could study language as my major that time, I would choose french as my second foreign language, I think it's beautiful, now I still wanna to study it, but cannot find the proper way and the time.

  Sometimes I would dream of what would be my life like if I finally become a translater or a language teacher instead of an engineer? Actually I didn't feel too much joy being as an engineer, I just not that kind of girl, god knows I never ever imagined ME as a civil enginner, is life like a dramar. I didn't say engineering is not a good job, it just not my style. Anyway, forget it, it's still my job, I still have to struggle for life relying on it. What a funny joke life made.

  Would be there anyway that I stepped closer to my dream? I really don't know. If only life can restart, i would resist on my thoughts of choosing english as major, and then choose to be a translater or a french teacher. But that would be never gonna happen, time moves on....

Post comment Comment (12 replies)

Reply penfield 2014-6-22 13:37
Do you think you have had a good answer to the question your mom gave ever?
Reply samanthe 2014-6-22 15:14
there always have many regrets in our life, if you have no chance to change it, just keep moving on, and try to adjust your attitude to enjoy the current life, who knows the future would be, maybe you will like it, be happy!
Reply sunnyv 2014-6-22 19:56
Don't take it so seriously, my friend. You don't have to be disappointed at your achievement. Most of us have unrealized dreams too. Lots of people are working in jobs they don't  like for various reasons including survival. Allow me to tell you that you have made the right choice choosing English as your specialized field. English is used in most of the countries of the world and your English skills can be used in lots of ways including commercial, industrial, educational, social etc.

The only thing is that a suitable opportunity is not yet available to you. It is not that you care not capable, so don't blame or underestimate yourself. Nobody can say when your chance will come, but so long as you have a reasonable knowledge of English, anything is possible. No need to be so hard on yourself. It is not your fault at all.
Reply Dannietle 2014-6-23 09:26
For you, maybe I was lucky to be able to choose english as major, BUT I think u made the better choice than me. Today, everyone knows english and could learn everywhere, if you choose english as a major and have not other skills then would be hard to find a job unless you really had a good level in oral, reading and writing . I major in english, when looking for job, I found except english i mostly know nothing, so sad is that my englsih also not that great. All in all, just cherish what you owned now, everything happens for the best, my dear friend!
Reply Sandy003 2014-6-23 16:26
I am also a civil engineer, nice to meet you, fairy. You have done your best.
Reply fairy0612 2014-6-23 19:44
penfield: Do you think you have had a good answer to the question your mom gave ever?
A good question. I maybe cannot give a proper answer, but what for sure is that I won't be silent again then. I would tell her that there must be some reason for everthing's exsitence, and besides English, I could still learn another language, that should be an advertange. And though we all learn English at college, but few can learn it quite well, those who majoring in it certainly are much stronger in using English, and above all, I like it, I think I should go after my own steps, for it will be my life, and I WILL walk through no matter what happens, for it is the way I choose.
Reply fairy0612 2014-6-23 19:49
samanthe: there always have many regrets in our life, if you have no chance to change it, just keep moving on, and try to adjust your attitude to enjoy the curr ...
I totally agree that none of us knew what will be like in the future. That is why we all have dreams about it. If we already know what life will be like in the next few years, I don not think people would fight for it, that makes life colorful and excited.
But sometimes I would always pictured another life which I chose a different way in the very beginning, especially when I got lost in my present life, I just can't help doing it. Maybe it is not a good habbit. Your are right, life keeps moving on, all we can do is looking forwords instead of backwords.
Reply fairy0612 2014-6-23 20:01
sunnyv: Don't take it so seriously, my friend. You don't have to be disappointed at your achievement. Most of us have unrealized dreams too. Lots of people ar ...
Thank you for typing so many words here, it really helps. I never regret learning and practicing English, which made me now have a little advantage at work now. But question is, I didn't do well in my field, since I did't study well on my major at college, while my present job relys on my major. I just feel that I am not invented for engineering, sometimes I just can not figure it out why it would react  like this, you know, just keep passing away the point. I wondered whether I reallt fitable for this job, but the funny thing is nobody denied me until now. And some even think I was good at such things, I don't know why this happen, is it only because I had a better education background or that I haven't got a failure?
My present leader seems quite value me, which gives me great pressure, I always wondered what if I finally disappointed him when he found I am not as good as he thought, what if I connot finish tasks that he gave me? It tortued me everytime I think about it. Too much pressure....
Reply fairy0612 2014-6-23 20:10
Dannietle: For you, maybe I was lucky to be able to choose english as major, BUT I think u made the better choice than me. Today, everyone knows english and coul ...
I like your opinion about "everything happens for the best." Comes to the skills, you know most people maybe only gain one skill during his lifetime, which Enligsh IS your stills too. And it is quite true that the majority didn't do well on his major, so it would be okay if your english is not that great, it would be enough if you are greater than most of them. Don't loose hope, you will find your job, maybe beyond your imagination, nobody knows what gonna happen in the coming second.
Reply fairy0612 2014-6-23 20:14
Sandy003: I am also a civil engineer, nice to meet you, fairy. You have done your best.
Oh, really! Hello then, we misery civil engineer. I don't know why would you say that I have done my best, I know I didn't. But thank you all the same.
Hope we both will enjoy our work, and have a better life.
Reply teadrinking 2014-6-23 20:30
It is all right.
And we all do know that what we majored at school is usually nothing to do with what we do right now.
We can not make it so smoothly as we dreamed of in the very first beginning.
A job is for living. A hobby is somewhat we like and has also the possibility developing into a career we are going to engage in.
Thus, to be good with yourself at present right now. And if you want to be as you were dreaming of, you are surely adequate to take it. There is nothing, if  you want it. As the methods of learning, I think there is no so called a good way, the right for you is just good for you.
Reply fairy0612 2014-6-23 21:03
teadrinking: It is all right.
And we all do know that what we majored at school is usually nothing to do with what we do right now.
We can not make it so smoothly  ...
When it comes to this, I have to say that the education in China is kind of misleading,anyhow I couldn't say more about it, and it's beyond my power to change it, so no worry about that.
Job now is really become a tool to support life to some extent, maybe we shouldn't expect too much from it, if only they wouldn't take much time of our daily life.
And I think I didn't get you with "There is nothing, if you want it." Isn't it horrible?

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