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Maybe I really need someone to be settled down

Hot 81120 views. 2015-1-21 11:30 | settled, someone, really

2015 already came, and I now become 26 years old now, but still stay single. Seeing that some of my friends, my schoolmates, my collegues and people at my age get married one by one, but I still do not know where is my Mr.Right. To be honest, I am now worried, sometimes I even thought maybe there would be no one to marry me, sometimes I could feel so lonely without someone nearby, especially when I saw someone show their love on the internet. I envy those who have someone to show out. I am eager to be setteld down now.

But I, somehow, am the one prefer to put quality before quantity, I don't want to end my life with someone I have no feeling. I am so trust on my first impression, it occurs so many time that when I noticed someone had feelings in me which I do not have in him, I would treat him with my icy attitude, reduce contact with him gradually. In another word, I never give a chance to those I don't have a feeling. I don't think this is right, but I just cannot make do with unsatisfactory.

So sometime I would say angerly to myself"You deserved it, you asked for being single"...

Truth is, I have a so-called boyfriend, oh no, maybe just a spare. Only when we were together, I can feel that we were in a relationship. But other time, he seems not exist. He never contact me first, he would reply long time after I message him, or even doesn't reply at all. Mom said, maybe he is just not an active man, and there is no necessary to troubled who made the first step, maybe he IS busy or not concenient to use phone.(He is a military officer). But I tried many times to make the first step, but nothing change. At last, I feel disappointed and tired. His answer is that he's not accustomed to being together to someone, he stayed sngle too long. But to me, he is not just that into me. As to me, if you are really concerned with someone, you can't help to keep in touch with him, you want to know everthing happens to him, you want to know whethe he is good or not everyday. What he does has nothing to do with habit, he just doesn't concern. Otherwise why he never asked me about my situation when I was abroad for three months, alone, for the first time abroad! And never asked me when I would return home. Now I have came back for one month, maybe he doesn't know yet! What a joke.

As to me, I am just a spare to him. I feel tired of this, I don't want to contact him anymore. So I prefer to say I am single now, and this is the truth. And I think I really need to change my attitude, try to find my Mr. Right. I don't know how long I would struggle for this, just with all my luck and wishes. Hope the day will come soon.

Post comment Comment (16 replies)

Reply aobama666666 2015-1-21 17:04
Don't worry about it any more! Your Mr.Right will meet you in the right place at the right time.
Reply touringchina 2015-1-21 20:37
I appreciate partial of your personality, that is , you  even don't hesitate to turn down the many proposals made from who you had no feeling for. This avoided twisted relationships afterwards. Once you are in love, you are in love with the one and only, no aftermath, no diversion. That is called sincere love, a traditional virtue only seen among Chinese folks which  has almost died out in modern society.
As to accelerate the process of bidding farewell to being single, you need to take several advices.
List all the possible standard that you may desire  for your potential Mr. Right, those who  meets the most of it will be your good choice.  Good  luck.
Reply sunnyv 2015-1-21 21:01
Things seems so unfair to you. All you are wishing for is a Mr. Right who is really right for you. That is not too much for ask for. You don't need to feel sorry about yourself. I can tell you for sure that there are a lot of girls your age in the same situation as you. Fate works in mysterious ways and you won't know when and where you would meet your Mr. Right. You need not lower your expectations for the Mr. Right because your requirements and expectations are essential and normal. You would not be happy just marrying anyone who comes along and propose. You have to spend the rest of your life with this person and face him everyday, so how can it be somebody you don't have feelings for?

I can tell you why it is so hard to find a suitable partner for marriage. It is not your fault at all. You see, girl's age can't wait. By the time you are 26, the alarms would start ringing and you would feel the pressure. This is the time when girls make the mistake of marring the wrong person.

So why are your friends, colleagues, schoolmates and others getting married while you remain single? Some girls don't take marriage seriously and their mentality is marry first, think later. That is why we see so many people breakup after few months of marriage, argument everyday and hate each other. Separation is only a matter of time, so why marry for? Marriage may not solve all your problems and quite often it is the beginning of a tough and challenging life part 2.

The reason why men are not interested in marriage is because they can afford to wait. Play around a while first. Enjoy life then think about marriage.

The person you mentioned, is less than a spare or standby. He is not serious at all and certainly have no intention of a long term relationship, let alone marriage. You are better off seeking somebody who cares and somebody you can accept.

Don't let these things bring you down. Tell your parents that you have done everything you can. It is not your fault that you can't find your Mr. Right.
There are plenty of people in the same situation. You are never alone.

Meanwhile, live your life to the best you can. Wish you the best.
Reply Cici.wang 2015-1-21 21:37
I also has this trouble same as you, i think we'll find my love at the end, let it  get out of my mind,just happy everyday.
Reply Tange 2015-1-21 21:54
no one should be single ;  the time will bring the One to you ...
Reply lovingfun 2015-1-21 22:33
Someone is waiting for you, I think so. But you shouldn't always keep silence. This chance is made by yourself. Stay in some certain circles will narrow your horizon, and when time goes by, you may develop a "just so-so". Consider anything is just so so. I keep for single for a long time, I sometimes have same kind of feeling. But when I look time, it is my fault that keep silence too long.
    When love comes, you should say you are in love bravely;when you feel you missed love, just let it be. There doomed someone is waiting for u, but, you need to find out him by yourself. Never wait too late to say sorry.
Reply shirleyytt2010 2015-1-22 11:02
Do not worry too much, you will find your Mr.Rright. Of course, we should take marriage as serious thing and find a suitable person for the rest of our life. Good luck to you.
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 20:48
aobama666666: Don't worry about it any more! Your Mr.Right will meet you in the right place at the right time.
Everytime I had no answer to myself, I would use this sentence to comfort myself...
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 20:51
touringchina: I appreciate partial of your personality, that is , you  even don't hesitate to turn down the many proposals made from who you had no feeling for. Thi ...
This personality is not good, I think, because I refused possible chances to me, maybe I already missed my Mr, Right without knowing it when I refuse someone by first impression. You know first impression is not always right.
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 21:03
sunnyv: Things seems so unfair to you. All you are wishing for is a Mr. Right who is really right for you. That is not too much for ask for. You don't need to ...
Wow, your advice is even longer than my bolg.   "Fate works in mysterious ways and you won't know when and where you would meet your Mr. Right. ",actually, I sometimes would wish that some one can predict my life to me, telling me when and where to meet my Mr.Right. Then I don't have to be worry, I can live my life freely and easily, but no one can predict that.

Yes, I am 26, with pressure from parents, from other my age... Sometime I even had the thought of marrying someone that would like to marry me, but later, I would sighed about my negative attitude and my dangerous idea.

Problem is my life circle is limited. There's not so much single , needless to say proper one. I don't know what I should do to expand my circle, and I cannot find a proper way to search for a right man. I am not an outgoing person, not good at dealing with people's relationship and maybe so normal among so many people...
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 21:30
Cici.wang: I also has this trouble same as you, i think we'll find my love at the end, let it  get out of my mind,just happy everyday.
You cannot be always happy under the pressure of parents and others
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 21:31
Tange: no one should be single ;  the time will bring the One to you ...
I have waited for a long time, I think. I hope there would be someone told me when he would finally come...
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 21:39
lovingfun: Someone is waiting for you, I think so. But you shouldn't always keep silence. This chance is made by yourself. Stay in some certain circles will narr ...
Yes, problem is the circle. I just don't know how to expand a right circle, and I am not an active one, I can't think out what would be a proper way
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-22 21:41
shirleyytt2010: Do not worry too much, you will find your Mr.Rright. Of course, we should take marriage as serious thing and find a suitable person for the rest of ou ...
Thank you for your wishes. I only hope the right man would come to me quickly
Reply ada23 2015-1-22 22:39
i think it`s right to turn down the man who you have no idea of forming a relationship based on love or some impression. But i think you can observe them their behaviour to find out your decision is right or wrong. And about military officer i can tell you directly he does`t deserve your love. Quit it and tell your parent you have done all and he has no signs to maintain the relationship. Smile more and observe the surrouding man.
Reply fairy0612 2015-1-23 15:02
ada23: i think it`s right to turn down the man who you have no idea of forming a relationship based on love or some impression. But i think you can observe t ...
I think you are right, at least I should observe their behaviour.
Thank you for your advice, I will keep my smile~

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