Saturday 16th, Jan

   The secret to get things done: Do It Now! Do not put it another day when you are "free" . Indeed, we are available at any time becuase it all depends on wheather you are really strong-minded to want to that.

   Distressed and frustrated, I'm confused what I really care about: the mark of exam? the remarks of teachers? the whisper of my own?or, my face? I can't tell or maybe all of them. Fortunately, no one saw my tears when the exam was over.

   Tought relunctant, I have to confess that I am deeply hurt by the TEM 4 exam yesterday. Based on the messages received, I took it for granted that the exam would last for three hours. However, it can not be a reasonable excuse, I know. It is a fact that I spend whole semester on my linguistcs and culture course, but can they explain the failure of the exam? Yes, I have tried my best to find any persuasive excuse to comfort myself, however, they are nowhere to be found. The most obvious reason is that I just don't konw how to learn a language, no matter English or Japanese.

   Listening, which I always think is my strength, doesn't work well at the important occasion. As for writing, I just can't use the new words and useful phrases when is necessary. To make the matter worse, it is my spelling. It must be funny that it was not untill last night did I came to know the spelling differences between "exprience" an "expriment". Sometimes I'm really shamed of sentence "I major in English" .

   I want to change: change the way I learn English so that oneday I can say loudly I learn English for use intead of for taking high marks. Then from today, from this diary, all of them will witness my improvement, both in vocabulary, grammar, sentence structure and organization. I will be practiser, not a reader!

   "You are the best, Helen!"

   "がんぱってね  リュ一エ！"