8th of April, Monday   cloudy

Today, it’s my first time to make a decision to fire a girl.

Leo didn’t agree with my word. He said it’s not YOUR DECISION, but YOUR COMPANY’S. I know what he meant though, the choice was made by me first and also the suggestion to fire the girl was put forward to the meeting by me.

“Maybe we can be good friend to each other, but I’m afraid we can’t be colleauge.” It’s a euphemism, yes, I agree, but I just can’t say “you are fired”. And you know, before I beckoned Angel into the meeting room, ten minutes, I spent total ten minutes to organize the words and sentence.

Can’t use the word fire directly… It’s too cruel…

and can’t list in detailed the mistakes she made and the trouble she brought and will bring to me and to the company because it will hurt her… then it’s hard for her to build up confidence again…

but you need to let herself know her weakness, otherwise she’s impossible to get any job or promotion in other work…

……

“Maybe we can be good friend to each other, but I’m afraid we can’t be colleauge.” I smiled.

“I know.” Angel smiled also.

She must know what I was going to say the moment I called her into the meeting room. She is so clam, so peaceful.

“Can I have your mobile #, or QQ, or mail address?” asked Angel, the smile was still found on her face.

“Of course.” There was a moment I couldn’t find the word. Sometimes I found the word “Sorry” was almost out of my mouth. But, why I should apologize? It’s proved that she is not able to do any work and she can’t help me and reduce my work load. That’s truth. Working is a equivalent exchange. You can make contributions, then you are paid; you can’t, then you are fired. However, there is another truth: I know this, I know this very clearly, but it’s difficult for me to put it into action...

“You only know my English name but you don’t know my Chinese name. 梁莹。” I said to her. Then she backed to the office, she concluded the work, we hugged, she left.

Do I grow up? This time, I just went to the coffee shop and took a cup of milk tea with Leo. Unlike what happened several months ago. When Jennifer was fired, the pain was so overwhelming that I fle to Dongguan and seek comfort from Clare. Did I grow up, my mind?