19th of April, Sunny

“Be careful.” Director Tony ended the phone talk with these two words.

One second ago, I thought I did something right: I had found another girl who very likely has the potential to help me in my work. However, another second passed, and I was very likely being laughed at for my being innocence. I was warmed that I should be careful of Amanda, the girl I just gave offer. I was warmed that the girl was so stubborn that I would find it hard to control her. Also, I was warmed, that the girl was so ambitious that I would be overthrew.

Be careful……

I heard Sharon’s shutting at the other end of the phone. She was being very angry. Angry at my naive? Lack of experience? Lack of discipline?

To some extent, I agree. I am too naive, so stupid, so kind-hearted that I find it impossible to refuse eyes full of honesty, “honesty” to me at least. I enterviewed Amanda last last week ago. She was very arrogant when she stepped into our office. To her, maybe this was too small to let her explore her abilities. After the interview, I gave her the offer though I know it takes efforts to “tame” her but I also know that she can work. She was very excited then, and asked me if she could join the work the second day. I said no. Next Monday pls. She left then.

Before the “next Monday” came, I got a phone call from her. “Sorry, Helen, maybe you and Mr. Tony is right. Maybe I don’t suit the position. Sorry.” I was glad at her informing, you know. To be very honest, I am so tired to spentd other time taming a girl. Besides, I had so many other good resource…But yesterday, I got her phone call again.

“Helen, I’ve given it second thought and, and I want to join your team very much…I just back from Panyu and I’ve learnt and known a lot these days and I, I, you, you still need me?”

I was surprised. Not arrogant, but docile tone. I could tell. But—

“Just as you need time to give it second thoughts, I need also. I will ring you back when I talk with director Tony.”

“But, but, but I really want to join your company…”

I repeated. Then the first phone talk was ended.

I won’t hire her anymore. That’s what I thought. And Tony agreed with me. But her continuous calling melt my decisions.

When she came for the second interview this afternoon, I saw sincerity in her eyes. Then thus I said yes. Tony agreed with me and he talked with Amanda himself. When she left, I smiled to her:”See you tomorrow.” I thought I had done soemthing right…

But, one hour later, Tony range me…

“Be careful.” Was followed by thousands of argumentations: she may have two offers in hand and thus she need urgently to judge which one was better…she know our position is very hot and she wants to join the company asap…she is so stubborn a girl that she may align with other girls in your depart and overthrow you manager…

….

I didn’t and don’t understand…from the very beginning whoever I meet I try to believe THEY ARE GOOD. But now they teach me to doubt every one every action every word every excuse before you place your trust to him. Maybe because I am too innocent…maybe they have gained many lessons from their easily placing trust…I don’t know…but, for the cooperation with FAR EAST and GAINSVILLE…I think they are doing too over…