22nd of May, Wednesday   Rainy

How long it has been since the night I lost sleep last time? One year ago, perhaps.

At 1:25 pm, May 2, I met the general manager in his office and said “I will resign”.

At 8:35 pm, May 10, I handed in the resignation via email, writing “I would like to leave the office one month after”—that’s June 11th.

And on May 18, to my surprise, my resignation request was passed and I was able to leave the office and the company.

Here added with another date and sentence, my first work experience is concluded:

On May 2, 2012, I entered the office, found my seat with Yan’s guide and sat down and began my first work day of my first job.

Aimless and helplessness, I can recall that in my first day when I was asked by Summer to read through all the emails and materials. No guide, no help, I was left alone to digest the info though I had no idea from where I should begin. And on last Saturday, when my resignation was announced by Summer in her office, I felt free. However, besides excitement, it surprised me I should feel aimless at the same time. In that morning, all went to the meeting except me. But this time, I didn’t need anyone to tell me what I should do; alone I cleanned up the files on my desk, threw away those waste paper which was supposed to be threw months ago. Then, got two big plastic bags and put all my stuff into it, tied the bags and let them lean against the wall. Two bags, one was the oat, milk-tea, and a glass bowl, another was a pair of shoes.

Jocelyn, William and Heng invited me to join them and go to the KTV with them. I was not in that mood, at that moment. I should have been very happy and fulled of excitement for finally, I was free from that company, that regulation and that general manager. But instead, an unname emotion crept upon my mind,. I couldn’t laugh as I was supposed to by myself.

“Because you don’t have any direction now.” Li said. “You reckoned your resignation won’t be passed until the end of July but to your surprise, you general manager gave his yes much much earlier than the date he asked you and also than the date you reckoned. Though you are free now, you have no idea what you should do next.”

True, this is. Everytime Novel asked me via phone what I would do when I quitted the job, I always answered “I don’t care and I don’t want to think about that, all I need now is I need to leave that company, asap.” Now, I have left that office, and IT’S TIME for think about WHAT IS NEXT.

What is next?

Next…Guangzhou? Shenzhen? Or back to Huizhou? Be a translator again? Or something else? Don’t know. I’m tired. This one-year long work experience and that general manager Tony scare me a lot. Once I devoted all my time and energy to the job, many times I thought I was the most luckiest man in the work because I found this job and followed this senior manager…but all these are “once”. 谁认真了，谁就输了。Maybe I shouldn’t have regarded this office and Tony this ideal and perfect, I shouldn’t be serious to everything, then perhaps now, I wouldn’t be so disappointed, and the idea of finding another job and another manager wouldn’t scare me…

Today’s Wednesday. Now it’s 10:58. I am free of work. I begin my diary again after several months’ absence. I am searching every job-hunting website to find a partime job. But it’s fun, you know, my mind. In the past half of year, I was the one who interviewed applicants, but now I am the one who are interviewed. I called a part time center yesterday afternoon. The man’s tone was such impolite that I ended the conversation with “thank you” myself. I need emotion adjustment.

But, Liangying, just one week, I just give you one week to do the adjustment. One week later, I need to see the Liangying with confidence in her eyes.