23rd of May, Thursday   Cloudy

“On such a Wednesday, who else will have the time between 3:00 and 6:00 in the afternoon and doing nothing but just shopping in the super market?”

Only laid-off guys like me, I guess, besides those seniors and kids. White collar workers are out of the question. You know, in the past couples of months, everytime I was squeezed into the metro on week days or everytime I was struggling to find the way forward among the crowd in a busy street at busy weekends, I used to think how free they were, the people whose week days were free and they can choose to go anywhere at any time without considering if the van is full or there is no room. This thought made me jealous.

But now, I am among the group of whom I used to feel ealousy. Thus having dinner at 5:30 pm, I went into the supermarket nearby. Don’t need anything, don’t want to eat anyting, but just take a walk. I was happy I did so. It’s true that I am in a down mood since last Saturday, but as I wrote down in my last entry, I need to pull myself up and walking, finding something I like is a good way out.

There were not so many people at that time. Just some elderly people and some pregnant women walked around to find the meat and vegetable for tonight’s meal and bread and milk for tomorrow’s breakfast. My stored snacks were run out but with what I should buy to fill it again? No idea. Then, I caught some puddings, many puddings, imported, watermelon favor, blueberry favor, mango favor. Their package was very cute, and ok, I pay much attention to the apperance of the goods I buy, and these package, simple but cute, attracted me very much. Took it up, and read the info printed on the package, and then put it down and then took up another. They were so cute that I wanted to photogragh them. But it seems this was not acceptable based on the market rules? Anyway, these coloful pudding made me feel much much better. And this proves again when I am in a down mood, the accompany with something beautiful will works.

And besides these puddings, another reason for my growing better emotion is, though I know not my destination, I know what I need to do now. Sound strange? No destination but know what need to do. But this is true. Complaint and indulgent don’t solve any thing and instead they make things worse. Don’t complain the strict requiements for the job you want, but to confront these requiements. What you have and what you don’t have. For those you don’t have, try to see if they are really necessary, if yes, then spend time obtaining them whether if it’s only a paper of certification or years’ experiments. You only know to envy those who possess the tranlsation certificates or Janpanese language qualifications, but why don’t you imagine the time and effort these people devote? For example, when you are induling yourself to the movies and daydreaming, they are learning and studying. If this continues, nothing will change expect you will become more jealous about others because they are growing stronger and stronger and you, weaker and weaker. So, instead of complaints, try to do something.

 “I need to go. I have an interview in the afternoon.” Emma said via QQ two hours ago. “Though the employment situation is very bad this year but I won’t be the one who stand the end of the list.” Every day everyone is trying to live their life better. I need to and want to color my life.