9th of August, Friday  Sunny, very sunny

Snatching a little leisure from a busy day, that’s what I want these days, but the fact is I’m always an unemployed idler.

Recollect an article from Xi Murong. It was an afternoon that she was off work, children were at school, she was allowed to do anything she wanted to do. Oil painting or cookie painting or something else? She had many plans. But when she passed the sofa, saw a magazine placed randomly on it, thinking just to put it right, her attention was caught by the articles and then, she lied herself on the sofa and began enjoying the magazine feast. Then, the moment she raised her head from the magazine and raised herself from the sofa, the afternoon was over and the children were back. She needed to take the role of a mother and a wife again.

And now I envy very much her having no time for doing something she likes (I don’t mean she hates the role of a mother and a wife). Japanese study in the morning, English reading and writing in the afternoon, hanging out with Lee in the evening, in fact, all these are what I want to do. But, it’s because this leisureness that’s almost driving me bad. Tortured by a busy working day, even a little of free time is treasure to me; idling off a whole day, then one second of free time will not be wanted anymore.

Anyway, I have done clean-up just now, finding my concentration cannot be fixed on the Japanese article any more. Mobbing the floor, clearing the tops of chairs and desks, rinsing the disks and pots and, folding different packets in paper and in plastic. ^_^, folding packets, that’s what I learn from Lee. Remember the first time I witnessed how strong his doing-housingwork abilities and exclaimed “it’s good to be the one who will marry you”: he picked up all the plastic packets in every corner and folded each of them, not matter in paper and plastic, by following the trace. Now, I am able and willing to do this also; he did influence me a lot.

Being unemployed, it brings troubles not only to myself, but to Lee also. “You need to go out and take a relax every day” this is what he said. He knows I will spend all my day time in the room and when he’s off duty, he wants to ask me out so that I can change a channel for my emotion. This is good for me, but not good for him. Off office at 6:00, sent the dinner to me at 6:30 and then went back to where he lives, and re-appears at 8:30 and asked me out, won’t go back until 11. It’s ok for a few days, but he has being doing this for two to three months. If I need to work in the day time, of course what I want to do at night is take a shower and seat myself before the TV or computer, from where I can get the strength to hang out every day?...He must be very tired, that’s the reason why he fell asleep in my bed last night, while I was listening to the music from the laptop.

I need to get employed so that I can have income, so that I can have priceless leisure time. But but but…I had a bad dream last night, about my second interview for Spectrum. I was in Bill’s office and he told me:”I don’t think the candidates from Hongkong suit the job because they are too 浮夸, and I don’t like the candidates from Hawaii. I think you may be the best one for this position.” Sounds a good news from this dream, yes? But my dream last night consists of three parts and this is only the second scenes. Part I is, my parent had been devoiced. My mother found a new lover in Zhanjiang and she was thinking if it’s better to move to live with that man in Zhanjiang. My father got a new lover and in another a step-mother for Emma and me also. And I fought with that ugly woman. Part III is, Cody was back from Edinburg. Haiyan and Jiawen and I visited the room he rented (which is exactly like what I live at this moment) and we did reading, Japanese reading. Outside was raining and we took a walk. In the middle of the walking, Jiawen went away with a man and Haiyan and I entered a backer shop. I wanted to ham-sandwich but only to find my purse was left in Cody’s room….It’s said that dreams are the mirror of life. So, part I and III is definitely not going to happen, then, part II is a dream only? I’m not going to get the…? I’d better to take other interviews? - -, 16th…then another month pass, another unemployed month…