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How to deal with people is very difficult, however, it’s more difficult to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Since I came home several days ago, I felt something bad had happened at home, but it was not suitable to mention what’s wrong. The problem is that the atmosphere didn’t improve at all. I didn’t know the conflict until mom told me about it. So living with them makes me feel kind of uncomfortable, especially when the relationship didn’t turn good. I know she didn’t know how to respect my mom according to the way she speaks. She is not pleased with my mom and my mom couldn’t stand her either. It appears that my brother can’t find a way to move the obstacle between his mom and wife. Sometimes I really feel like doing something to change the situation, but don’t know what to say or how to work out it. If I am involved with them, I’m afraid the conflict may not disappear but become more complex. If I ignore the embarrassing situation, I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened.
So what can I do for it? or I let it be?
Post comment Comment (6 replies)
- Reply teadrinking
- It is complicated to handle such a problem. And this is the top issue among most families. If possible, there are young couples choosing to live alone or move out. Because there are unpredictable things comiing up with frictions between mother-in-law and daugther-in-law, and most of those things are just trivial matters and worthy of nothing to be triggered into a stiffness, but you know, they just lie in there and happen at any time.
You have tried and now give it to the time to prove if it is going to be better or more smooth later.
- Reply ada23
- it is normal situation in most of chinese family. The efficient way it to teach your brother how to smooth two sides relationship. Buy something for the mother and said it derive from sister-in-law and told her that she maybe ill-mannered but a kind lady deep down. Also the same way to his own wife and put in a good words for each side to get more understanding times and times in order to two side accept these evaluation. Also you are right if you are involved makes things complex, you just kind to relieve two sides and be generous.
- Reply sunnyv
- Hmmm... Once somebody marries into a family, there are bound to be arguments and misunderstanding. These things can sometimes turn into very serious family disputes. I don't think you should step into this crossfire because you don't really have the capability to resolve them. Moreover, if you get involved in these disputes, then you yourself could be hurt too. Normally, these things would resolve itself in time. One side has to give way eventually, otherwise there would be no peace in the family. My view is that the daughter-in-law would have to compromise a bit first to cool down the fire. Then your mother would feel less threatened and cool down too. Everyone understands that we must sacrifice to maintain good family relationships. A war like family benefits nobody. As people say, ''Peace in the family brings prosperity, war in the family is never ending pain.'' All you can do now is to watch how things go and try whatever you can to lower the hear and temper of those involved.
- Reply 2010jj
- Thanks for your good advice.
teadrinking: It is complicated to handle such a problem. And this is the top issue among most families. If possible, there are young couples choosing to live alone ...
I find that the relationship of them is becoming better and better.
- Reply 2010jj
- What you said is very useful, but my brother is not good at dealing with the situation. That is very complex but he should and must learn to solve such problems, because such problems and conflict won't disappear.
ada23: it is normal situation in most of chinese family. The efficient way it to teach your brother how to smooth two sides relationship. Buy something for t ...
- Reply 2010jj
- sometimes I did want to change the embarrassing situation but I didn't do that in the slightest, because I am not sure that I could clear the obstacle instead of enlarging the battle. Luckily, the situation is turning into good now. Thanks a lot, sunny!
sunnyv: Hmmm... Once somebody marries into a family, there are bound to be arguments and misunderstanding. These things can sometimes turn into very serious f ...
