It is a bit trite to say honesty is the best policy, but you have to stick to it if you are not that smart to be both a crook and an achiever. Years of experience has taught me that it takes a dear price to be an honest man. Children tell harmless fibs, adults white lies. What I am going to discuss is on those circumstances under which one might be put in a dilemma to be honest.

   When I was a sophomore, my sister was beginning to date her boy friend, who later became my brother-in-law. She hesitated in making a commitment, so she asked me to make an assessment of his character. Proud of my integrity and forthrightness, I coolly pronounced my judgment on him as being satisfactory rather than excellent. My criticism finally reached his ears, which had impacted on our relationship ever since. I am not sure up to now whether it was proper to refuse my sister’s request when she was inexperienced in such things, even though it was a private issue.

  That didn’t cure me of my pertinacity in being honest.

  When I was a junior resident in my hospital, one of my alumnae was exasperated by marital problems, the leading cause of which was her husband’s infidelity. Her husband was her college classmate and was a successful surgeon. Many colleagues had witnessed or heard that his appetite for woman was pathological: being a married man and a father, he had chased all sorts of woman, regardless of taste, caste, or age. He was caught red-handed by her wife several times having an affair with other women, each time he promising never to do it again. She put up with it for a few years and her nerves were on the verge of breaking down. The last straw came when a chatterbox informed her pointblank that her husband had had the impropriety of bringing different women to spend nights at her home. She was furious at his audacity! But she still refused to believe the hearsay. We lived in the same building then, so one day she asked me to tell her the truth. I equivocated and tried to excuse myself from a direct answer, but she begged and cajoled till I gave in and told her that I had seen the other woman going into her house. She held on for a while and collapsed. Next day she attempted to take her own life by taking some sleeping pills, which sent a shock to all of us. Fortunately she survived the incident. I left that hospital one year later and never met her since then. The only thing I know is that she and her husband are still man and wife up to now. The lesson has taught me that it is unwise to volunteer any advice on others’ domestic affairs.

      Only after many unpleasant experiences have I mastered the skill of keeping my mouth shut on others’ private affairs, but in the field of work and government policy, I have remained as loyal as an infant to his mother, even though I have suffered one loss after another. Here I give only the last case which eventually rid me of my conviction that honest y is the best policy.

   When I found a job in Beijing several years ago, the company provided house remuneration for all employees as the house price had soared to a staggering degree. It was good news.  The application form required me to affirm whether I had my own house or not. Admittedly I have bought a small house in Shandong province which was less than 60 square meters in size, and I knew that the disclosure of it might militate against me, so it was best to deny its existence and no one would bother to validate its authenticity. Anyway as I have said before, honesty has become deeply ingrained in my character, so at the last moment my conscience drove me to write YES on the form. What happened next were sorrows and humiliations. The annual emolument was 16,000 at my position and that one word has forever stripped me of a handsome part of my income. Suppose I shall work in my company for another twenty years, the money totaled up together would be 320,000 RMBs. The loss was heavy, so was my heart. I demanded an explanation. The man in charge of the affair was very sympathetic. Gloating at my discomfiture behind his desk, he shook his head and mumbled repeatedly that business was business. He comforted me by compensating me an estimated amount of 50,000 RMB according to the price difference between Shandong and Beijing, but that money never came because no one knew how to solve this problem as no similar cases have happened before. You can understand my plight: by being honest I have to forfeit a fortune, and by being honest I have gave those in charge an extra work to do. It does have a price to be honest on this land. My advice to my friends is never to follow my example in being so pedantic and so surreal. Stick to the policy of honesty only when you can afford it. My view of the world has undergone a complete change after that incident and I am racing to catch up with those mature adults who know how to discreetly handle those tricky things.

     The tree stands still, but the wind shakes. I try hard to adopt the stance of an outsider and fear to tread upon any forbidden ground, but even so, I am not spared from the wheeling and dealing of those go-getters.

     When the old dean of our department reached the age of retirement, the big boss  invited him to stay as the Chief Consultant, but there was one obstacle: the incumbent dean had no desire for his continuing work in our department. The hospital then devised a way of solving this problem by putting the burden on the dean. Refusal might incur the wrath or anger of both the big boss and the old dean, but agreement to the terms meant he would have to endure an unwelcome customer in his team for a long time. He came up with the idea of voting by all the staff and the date was set. On that very day I was working in the outpatient office, so I thought I had luckily avoided being involved into the matter. When the office hour was closing at an end, our secretary came to my office with an envelope in her hand. She asked me to cast my vote, seal it and put it into the envelope. Running over the matter quickly in my mind, I decided to waive my voting right and put a blank vote inside the envelope. Secretly I was very glad that I had finally done a good job in being circumspect in my choice. Next morning on the way to my office, I met the old dean who, frowning on his face, asked me why yesterday I didn’t vote for him. That was truly a thunderbolt! My God, how come he knows all this? I immediately went to the dean’s office and asked him why things had gone astray. He was equally surprised and promised to investigate the matter. The world was turned topsy-turvy for a few days as allegations were exchanged between those involved, but finally I got to know what had happened on that day. Before my vote was sent in, the vote counting had already ended, the result being a tie between those in support of the old dean and those against. You say, unwittingly my vote had become an open secret. Waiving my voting right proved to be the best option for me and I narrowly escaped unscathed from a tug of war.

   No matter what have happened, I always feel grateful to the mercy and the power of the Almighty God who has already lavished ample blessings upon a petty and insignificant man like me. After having paid a heavy price, now I have earned a reputation of being too suave and sardonic. When the colleagues inquired me about the working conditions in Macau, skillfully skirting over those joyful hours, I always screwed my face into a pitiably state, signifying that Macau is no match for Beijing. Most were pleased with my answers, with some praising me of my patriotism. Life is an art. We are not entitled to be honest in many things so long as our conducts are reasonable and lawful.