i must confess that the poor gmat score reflected my real level quite well and the worse thing is the very depressed me after that. i thought about giving up the idea of application for a guaduate program and about finding myself a job in beijing, staying in home, making some money, and probably relaxing my parents from the very extensive finance pressures due to my further study.

 

i talked to my parents and i was told that i should not give up. i was escaping, from the failure in exam, from the coming up hard time and difficulties. my parents were right even if i was going to find a job , i wouldnt be succeed in such a horrible mental state. but i still had a strong feeling of my disappointment of everyone that cared me around.

 

i decided to make good use of the upcoming vocation to regenerate my confidence and good mood even if i should start all over. i wanted to meet my buddies and i knew i could always have good time with them. i wannna go studying with my friends. i do want a good rest of my mind.

 

however, something happened today makes me totally down. i discover that my buddies are planning to get together and do some sports or something like that. i completely didnt know that. there is not a single piece of information that told me to come too. i asked about that and they told me that i should be informed by XXX, the guy i mentioned in my last blog. and i was told that he is really busy with his new girlfriend. is that the reason for whoch i am totally ingnored? i cant believe that ....

 

maybe i just write some crap things here, maybe it is just my temporary and stupid complaint. but i do really feel bad right now. i see the hard time comes but i dont know when it could go away.