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Decision
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Now the decision is made. I will take the entrance exams for postgraduate school next year.
The reason is partly that I don't yet want to find a job. It may be called "escapism", as I always feel it dreadful to work and want to stay in school forever. To me, society is just too complex, especially when you are an adult. My growing environment was quite pure and easy, making me afraid of that I couldn't adapt to the society outside where a competitive mind and the ability of handling interperonal relationships are required. Partly being that from the one-year experience of preparing for the entrance exams, I really get a lot, both academically and spiritually. I find that I actually do like reading and reflexing. I find the joys in books and knowledge. In the past, though my academic score was decent, I always felt that I was forced to study by the idea that if I fail in exams, it would be quite shameful. So I was fairly passive toward study. I didn't have any goal and idled all the time, it was only before an exam came that I would go to classroom and study absorbedly. But during the period I was preparing for the entrance exams, I had a goal and felt that I was no longer a sailing ship without direction. That feeling is so gorgeous! However, sadly, the exams flopped. The politics failed me and due to my slowness I didn't finish the specific exam. But the end can't deny the joy I found and, what's more, I get several sincere friends in the process. These frienships brought me happiness and made me think about a lot about life and human nature,etc. I really cherish them.
What is the good thing is that you can always take those exams. Now that I enjoy the process so much and I've found where my shortcoming lays, I think that I have an advantage over others, say, I know better about the textbook, I'm clearer about how to arrange my time and also my failure can serve as a guide to get me on the track whenever I'm distracted. What's more, knowing that my score is only a little bit below its requirement, I will have more confidence in myself.
Anyway, the exams next year are still far away, and as long as I keep a clear mind and bear a perseverant spirit.
Adam Lambert sang in his song: There're no boundaries. There may be times of loneliness and bewilderment, which are hard to cope with, but I will always encourage myself with this song and also another song by Mariah Carey: Through the Rain.
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Post comment Comment (1 replies)
- Reply rachelzhaorui
- Oh, I'm preparing for the exams, too. So let's work hard together!
