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leftover persons
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Several days ago, I came across one of my neighbors, who was senior to me by many years and one mother of a daughter up to 30 years old. After some small talk, she asked me a favor to introduce one boyfriend to her daughter.
My neighbor was a very nice person. Actually, I really wanted to accomplish this mission to be a go-between. However, I was in deep pity and told her that I knew so many single women instead of single men. But I added It needed the proper timing and I would try.
It has been a annoying social problem there are so many leftover women and men around us. Despite the census which reported some million more men than women were born in the past years, It is weird more single women than single men in our life. When I mentioned the issue of being the go-between with my friends, both of us would be in surprise to ask "where the men were".
On the one hand, I suspect the reliability of the result of the census. In China, especially in countryside, many people haven't registered their kids' Hukou. On the other hand, it has been the confirming fact in the countryside there are more men while in cities there are more women. It is pretty easy to explain, the constantly mounting housing price hold back so many young boys, who are ambitious but lack of money. After struggling in cities for several years, most of them will give up and go back. However, for young girls, the situation is little different. Regardless of having diploma or money, they can turn to the last resort to find a man who has the urban Hukou to be in marriage. Then, all of the problems have been settled. Third, a rural girl can marry a urban wan. However, a urban girl can not accept a rural boy, if the boy has no college diploma.
The situations mentioned above have been the real obstacles to the leftover persons. Additionally, the popular fold saying holds we are in the different destiny to find our spouse. Are, however, just the environment and destiny to blame? I don't think so. After knowing some stories about the leftover persons, I come to the conclusion that if a person can not find Mr. or Mrs. Right after 35 years old, she or he should take others as the mirror to find the limitations. Some are so picky in their 20s, others care more about material conditions.
I think they should give the second thought to it and then make some compromises. Perhaps, they will find Mr. or Mrs. Right is standing around the corner.
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Post comment Comment (8 replies)
- Reply moli
- If someone asks me a favor as your neighbor, I would say no. Because it is too difficult for me to finish the task.
- Reply sunnyv
- I would also decline if somebody ask me to be a matchmaker, not because I don't have candidates, but because people always say;
moli: If someone asks me a favor as your neighbor, I would say no. Because it is too difficult for me to finish the task.
Don't be a mediator, Don't be a guarantor.
Don't be a matchmaker and your 3 generations would benefit.
The fact is that these days marriages are so fragile that it could breakdown anytime. When the marriage breaks, the matchmaker would be cursed.
- Reply sunnyv
- Nice of you to write about this situation. It does more or less help relieve the pressures of the single girls.
Indeed, the pressures of marriage are tearing single girls into pieces with pressures from family, relatives and society. Girls are being criticized for being too choosy and demanding resulting in them losing marriage opportunities, but the fact is that, it is very difficult to find prospective partners, even with the lowest expectations. Don't know what the men are thinking? Why are they not approaching the girls. Why think so much? Why keep them waiting endlessly? Nobody is perfect. Time waits for nobody. Men can afford to wait but girls have age and child bearing limitations. This is so unfair to the girls. When are all this suffering and torments going to end?
People say fate play an important part in marriage. You would never find a good husband no matter how hard you try, but when your luck is good, you could meet one just around the street corner. However, for fate to work, men should first take the initiative and offer his hand to girls. If everyone is hiding so mysteriously somewhere, then even god can't help and the result is misery.
You are a kind hearted and compassionate girl. Sometimes, it is better to offer significant assistance than donating money. If you really could find a match for her, it could really change their lives, but as I said, it is sometimes not worthwhile to be matchmaker. Anyway, be selfless and if you can do it, then do it for their benefit. It matters much for them.
''Leftover persons''. What a nice and self-explanatory title. You do have some talent in words. Not the perfect title but it is perfect in itself. Honestly, I cannot find a better title than this. Cheers.
- Reply moli
- Yes, what you said is right. If the couple are happy, they may forget that you are their matchmaker, however, if they often qurrel, and you are the one who should be blamed.
sunnyv: I would also decline if somebody ask me to be a matchmaker, not because I don't have candidates, but because people always say;
Don't be a mediator, D ...
- Reply umbrellazh
- Actually, I can not agree with you more. To be a matchmaker is not an easy job. Compliments or curse depend on whether the marriage ends up with happy or non-happy ending. Therefore, to some extent, it is a thankless job. However, It seems I care less about that, for my marriage is out of a blind date. Until now, it has been going smoothly. Perhaps, to be another matchmaker is the way to spread my matchmaker's kindness and bring more luck to my friends who are anxious to seek their matches.
sunnyv: Nice of you to write about this situation. It does more or less help relieve the pressures of the single girls.
Indeed, the pressures of marriage are ...
- Reply umbrellazh
- Oh, btw, I steal this word "leftover" from the internet. I am flattered by u.
sunnyv: I would also decline if somebody ask me to be a matchmaker, not because I don't have candidates, but because people always say;
Don't be a mediator, D ...
