Now i think maybe the initiative is i reply on too much due to the delicate warmth and  being an independent girl who seldom being cared from a stranger so well and now i back to my track but sometimes deflect a bit degrees until go around again. 

      I seldom miss him and faint his face and sometimes i will imagine if i had revealed the secret to him what would he had reacted? Thinking i am crazy or he was also attracted by me but control well by his maturity subconsciously.-- Now i totally give up this answer but actknowledge that he is kind to me due to partially my own charming which is enough to me.

      Keep him at a distance is very important even though i can see his thought through Wechat which now i neglect deliberately and hope the day comes soon i can completely put down this burden.

      Next time i no longer repeat this afflicting emotion on sb else, that is too bitter and hurtful. Someone are qualified to tell the world he lost his love, but i had to cry in the darkness to admit i lost my heart on unreasonable man who is forbidden which i think hurts me most.