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I was not sure what the god wanted me get from the lesson.
I used to fall into the swamp,deeper and deeper and untill now still remember how desperate and hurtful I wrote down the feeling or pains on this english platform cau i needed a channel to release the turbulenct mind of being attracted or can be called had a crush on a doctor who is a married man.
And I still remember how agonizing or uneasy waiting for his reply and his imagine appeared whenever i turned my decision, the no reply or two/three days delay reply made my mind up and down. The dark days.
As my moral or subconscious right principle, i never allowed myself veiled this emotion or affection to him so he never knows my experience or struggles toward him.
And it takes time and hardness to adjust the right direction cau i stepped wrong then forced myself to be right.
Initally he treated me as a more care needed patient and with times aging, he found my special character or points, then my positon of his side upper and now quick reply on wechat.
Sometime i will think what the relationship we two have, the doctor or patient, it exists cau when i fell indigestion, doctor Hua, telling him my grievance of recovery, he advised me in a doctor way conbined with a bit more intimacy. OK, i also a wayward girl i will ask him(xiao hua--the dubbed name) tell me a joke i am unhappy now, then later the joke comes on wechat when he is free. It can be describe a relationship with a bit of tolerance or spoil, the friendship, unusual friendship rarely happened between a doctor and a former patient.
But now i know what god wanted me know is he makes me warm, put myself down, think less of myself, see the world simply and get along with people warmly, so, xiao hua, you know how cute you are and how wayward i am？
Through the dark days i finally pick the sweat fruit from it.
God, it is the time to send me my Mr. Right, please. Can he cute as xiaohua and severe as Doctor hua.
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Post comment Comment (3 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- We all had one time or the other had a crush on someone and could not pull ourselves out of it. We would do everything imaginable to keep the dream going. We force ourselves to believe that some day our dreams would come true. It is just human nature and not something bad. We won't give up until we find an alternative.
Since there is no better way to get out of this situation, and the doctor is keeping contact with you with a bit of neglect, there is no harm in maintaining the relationship as a patient who became a friend.
There is nothing to gain by severing the relationship. He has not requested you to do that either. He would not have responded to you if he does not have some fondness about you. It is not advisable to maintain a long term uncertain relationship but you do not have a better choice.
Meanwhile, just maintain the status Quo and time would give you the answers.
- Reply teadrinking
- In the inappropriate time met the wrong guy. Who might trigger the sense of inner mind stirring the waves by rippling and spreading over and over.
Sometimes it does give a thought of the memory of the past. AS the mark left by the experience etched by the gale blowing on rocks. Or the sun radiates warmth to everything whatever it is intentionally or unintentionally.
End of it. Goes for the trip of life step by step.
