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What Do You Feel About This Poem?

1022 views. 2010-8-3 13:37 |

 A lovable poem:

Paradox 

It's like I'm numb, but I can still feel.
I can't sense, but I know that it's real.
It's like I'm lost and can't find my way home.
I don't know anyone that I've ever known.

This feeling, if I'm capable of that,
Feels like I may have a heart attack.
Climbing so high, then jumping off,
Life is so hard, yet death is soft.

My friend, I fear that's all we'll ever be,
Nothing will ever change what's between you and me.
I was blind, and I still can't really see;
Is this you, or was it me?

By this whole thing, you seem pretty unaffected,
While as for my whole life, I think that you wrecked it.
Goodness will triumph, but evil will prevail,
As for you and I, I'm afraid that ship has sailed.

Post comment Comment (16 replies)

Reply adck 2010-8-3 14:52
Is this one love for someone that you have a crush on?
Reply Teddy126 2010-8-3 15:28
Nicely rhythemed
If it is a letter
It is a Dear John
It may be written from the boy's side, though
If it is a lyrics
Then it may come from a song for breaking up
Hehe,why are you pasting it here?
Reply Teddy126 2010-8-3 15:30
Oh,forget about the "a"
There shouldn't be an "a" in front of "lyrics"
Reply Edelweiss 2010-8-3 15:30
Hi, I would not venture to comment on this rather personal poem if I am not encouraged by the title of this blog. I call it personal because of the content-a love affair is involved. Emotion is there, which makes it real.This is important because authentic feelings make good poetry. The language is fluent but, I am sorry to say that if you want it to be really good, it is not poetical enough. Some parts are rhymed perfectly, which, I know, is an easy thing to do, but the others contain only assonance, which is not usual in end rhyme.

About the content. I am afraid, my friend, that life with ups and downs are the most colourful and a life without events is dull. It's the experiences that make one life different from another and make it really unique. It's also the memories, however good or bad, that remind you of your past-a proof that you have lived your life rather than let life pass you merely. Your experiences and past memories signify that your life is rich but not hollow, which is a good sign. Don't you think so? If you have laughters and tears in life, your life is full. What else do you expect? The pains are not there to hurt us but to enrich our life. They are there to make us learn and grow  and become mature. You may think it is the end of the world when you experience some hardship emotionally. Indeed to young people the end of a relationship can be a heavy blow. But if you are young, it means you still have a lot of chances in the future. The current experience can be a lesson for you learn to love and to deal with love affairs so that you are more prepared when you enter a new relationship in the future.

That's all I have to say at the moment. Take care.
Reply touringchina 2010-8-3 16:46
i feels good about it
Reply Alvin.Tang 2010-8-3 17:55
I envy your feeling to write the poem
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 15:12
adck: Is this one love for someone that you have a crush on?
Love makes you happy and confused...this is what this poem expresses
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 15:15
Teddy126: Oh,forget about the "a"
There shouldn't be an "a" in front of "lyrics"
You're cute
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 15:16
Teddy126: Nicely rhythemed
If it is a letter
It is a Dear John
It may be written from the boy's side, though
If it is a lyrics
Then it may come from a song for
But for me,this poem talk about a feeling which you just cannot stop,maybe your persistence in love
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 15:23
Edelweiss: Hi, I would not venture to comment on this rather personal poem if I am not encouraged by the title of this blog. I call it personal because of the co
Thank you,I appreciate your comment a lot,you just know what the poem is carrying out.Yeah,I agree when you say colorful life should contain happiness and sadness.
Every challenge we face along the lifelong journey is valuable as for growth.
Phoenix is beautiful after its rebirth from raging fire.
I'll remember what you bring to my mind.Thanks again.
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 15:23
touringchina: i feels good about it
Thanks for your appreciation and welcome to my space.
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 15:27
Alvin.Tang: I envy your feeling to write the poem
I'm sure you have your sincere and deep feelings,too.
Why not share yours? I'm looking forward to.
Reply Teddy126 2010-8-4 22:24
Well,I read through it again
maybe you are right
But mine is not mistaken either
That's why it is a paradox
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-4 23:34
Teddy126: Well,I read through it again
maybe you are right
But mine is not mistaken either
That's why it is a paradox
I appreiate your humor,welcome to my space
Reply Edelweiss 2010-8-6 15:12
ashley0707: Thank you,I appreciate your comment a lot,you just know what the poem is carrying out.Yeah,I agree when you say colorful life should contain happiness
Glad that my comment is of some help to you.
Reply ashley0707 2010-8-6 17:56
Edelweiss: Glad that my comment is of some help to you.
Welcome to my space,again

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