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ghost husband 20
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Chapter Twenty
Though he had moved back to Cold Pine Garden, Qixuan insisted on living in the Falling Moon Pavilion. Lemei was not worried, for she believed that someday, he would open the forbidden gate in his heart.
After an arrangement for Qixuan, Lemei burned the false memorial tablet and witnessed the false tombstone be removed. The flame and rubble made her relieved. Everything had passed. She had said farewell to the past and her ghost husband while their new life would start anew here!
Ziyan had witnessed all this. With the same sorrowful past, when would she start a new life? A renewed combination between Qixuan and Lemei had been her biggest wish, but when it was progressing that way, she began to worry about herself.
That night she walked out of the Falling Moon Pavilion and saw Wanli leaning against a rockery, musing. Stopping several paces away from him, she called softly, "Wanli!"
Shocked, he turned to look at her.
"What... What did you call me?"
Unable to get her mood in control any more, she walked straight to Wanli, and before he could have realized it, she had thrown herself into his arms, crying repeatedly and violently, "Wanli! Wanli! Wanli..."
He hugged her tight. A ripple of happiness made them dizzy. After a short while, she slowly released herself from him and earnestly gazed into his eyes.
"You once said that I was like a butterfly. Really? With sins all over, I feel myself extremely ugly. Though I have no scars as the Second Young Master does, those sins are my scars that can never be got rid of!" Her eye sockets reddened. "But you should say that I am like a butterfly! Do you really not loathe me? Do you really not speak ill of me?"
"How can I loathe you? How can I speak ill of you?" He pressed her shoulder and gazed at her. "There is no one else who knows you better! There is no one else who knows how you are atoning for your crimes with your body and soul! Cold Pine Garden is a prison for you! In my eyes, you have three identities: a severe judge, a strict supervisor and a penitent prisoner! Who dares to speak ill of you when you are in such a plight? I only feel pity for you!"
She drooped her head and shed tears.
"But you don't know how I am worried! I once told you that my biggest wish was to see a good end for the Second Young Master and the Second Young Mistress, but I still wonder if a misfortune would occur before that good end. Because... Because I don't think heaven would treat me so well! The biggest punishment from heaven is to prevent my wish from being realized, so in order to punish me, heaven would cause a disater for them..."
"That is your wild guess!" He interrupted her. "Things are getting better for Lemei and Qixuan, so very soon, the clouds will give way to the sunlight. Why do you worry instead?"
"I just worry about this!" She shook her head with fear. "I am afraid! I'm afraid that heaven is making everything appear hopeful, but end worse."
Holding up her chin, he murmured, "You've thought too much, but it is not your fault. After all, you have been suffering all the time, feeling everything hopeless. But if you are always expecting the worst, you will miss much pleasure. As to the matter between Lemei and Qixuan, it's no use worrying about it. A broken heart can only be cured with heart, so it will be enough if we have tried our best. You should only remember that whatever happens, I will be with you, sharing responsibilities with you, so that you'll have nothing to fear, OK?"
She nodded with tears, threw herself again into Wanli's arms and choked, "Oh, Wanli, Wanli..."
He stroked her hair, gazing into the vast night sky.
"I have been desiring to perform a great career far away from my hometown. When someday we can feel relaxed about everything here, I'll take you away. Then, I'll make diagnosis while you help to apply ointments and dress wounds. Let's roam freely all over the world and atone for the crimes together!
She could entrust him with her own life. Hugged by Wanli, she was fancying the future he had promised.
After Wanli left, Ziyan sat alone in her room, pondering over what Wanli had said. Then a maid came and said that Old Mrs. Ke wanted to see her.
Ziyan noticed that Old Mrs. Ke was wearing a sullen look. Sure enough, she started in a stern voice, which made Ziyan droop her head awkwardly.
"I had always been puzzled, and later some incidents took place so that I had no time to ask you in detail. Now I have finally realized that it's just for Wanli's sake! But don't you love Qixuan dearly?"
Biting her lip, Ziyan kept silent, yet her body was slightly trembling.
"I can never forget that when Qixuan was in a coma, it was you who fed him with the medicine mouth to mouth! At that time, I thought that no one else could treat my grandson so kindly, so I had long considered you my granddaughter-in-law. But now, I have been completely confused. Why did you get close to another man while sacrificing yourself for one man? Then for what purpose did you do everything for Qixuan?" Old Mrs. Ke got more agitated and sorrowful. "What... What sort of person are you? How come I feel you a stranger all of a sudden?"
"Not all of a sudden, but you have never got a true understanding of me!" Ziyan raised her head abruptly, pale-looked, and penetrating her gaze into Old Mrs. Ke's eyes. "The so-called care or affection is just faked! Faked!"
Old Mrs. Ke stared blankly at her.
"It's on purpose that I did everything and said every kind word to please you! Because only when I was trusted could I put you to death!" Having hidden the secret for too long, she burst out at last. "In fact, you life was once controlled by me and I could have killed you as easily as I did an ant! Your diarrhoea was caused by the croton I had secretly added to your dish! The cubilose porridge I cooked for you the first time had poison in it as well!"
Ziyan's words made Old Mrs. Ke retreat step by step. She got more and more astonished until she collapsed onto the chair, her wide-open eyes still staring at Ziyan with fear.
"But..." With twitches on her cheeks, Ziyan said in a trembling voice, "But... After all, I have forgiven you!"
After a short time of silence, Old Mrs. Ke asked slowly, "But why? Why..."
"Because I came here just to avenge my Mom!" Unable to get herself in control any more, she knelt down, shedding tears. "Because I'm the daughter of Fanggu! The daughter of Fanggu!"
Old Mrs. Ke was immediately struck dumb.
"Fanggu, who had been ruined by Cousin Young Master, and who, evicted by you, had to live a miserable life in brothels, and finally died of madness, was my Mom! There was no hatred without cause, so I came here to avenge my Mom! I had found the target, but I was not cruel enough, because I hated you treating me so well! Further more, I had more hatred for my own cowardliness. Therefore I had to find another way to vent my grievances! So... So..." Struggling for a long time, she cried out with chokes, "So I set the fire to the storeroom!"
Old Mrs. Ke, who had been listening panic-stricken, was awakened by this.
"What..." She asked ashen-faced. "What... did you do?"
"I set the fire! I had set the fire!" Touching the floor with one hand and pounding her chest with the other, Ziyan cried out incoherently, as if she were unable to support herself. "I had meant to burn the storeroom only, so that the Ke's family would suffer a great loss. But... But I have destroyed the Second Young Master! That is why I am sparing no effort to take care of him! I'm atoning for my crime! Therefore... When you proposed me as his concubine, I was nearly crazy! I had stealthily ended a good marriage, but you still wanted to make that proposal for me! So I had no choice but to refuse, not for the sake of Wanli, but because I had committed a crime! I am guilty!"
Old Mrs. Ke snatched at the arm of the chair convulsively, trembling like a fallen leave in the wind and fixing Ziyan with a furious glare. At last she burst out.
"You damn! Damn! Why didn't you poison or kill me? Why did you set fire to my Qixuan? What a sin you have committed..." She jumped frantically and pushed Ziyan desperately, as if to push her back to the day when she had entered their home and beyond the fate of the Ke's family. "I had brought disaster upon myself! So muddleheaded that I had planted the seeds of misfortune myself!..."
Being shoved passively for some time, Ziyan suddenly began to slap herself, crying madly, "I cannot bear the sense of guilt any more! Can you beat me to death right away?"
Old Mrs. Ke raised her hand high and was about to slap her when Ziyan's tearful face suddenly reminded her of Fanggu; at that time, Fanggu was also kneeling before her, begging her... Her face twitched, so she stopped and wept.
Seeing Old Mrs. Ke give up, Ziyan was more haunted by raging flames of sorrow.
"Then please take me to yamen and let the officer declare my guilt!" She cried, "Please, please!"
"It's not you who set the fire, but me! If I were not so stone-hearted at that time, how could I have got the punishment now?" Old Mrs. Ke raised her tearful face and murmured, "Fanggu, your curse has really come true! I have been punished at last! And the torture is much more severe when it occurred to my grandson rather than to myself!"
Tragedies are always linked to each other and take place with a momentary slip. Both of them sobbed, feeling each other so strange, yet both held a similar feeling about their pains. After a long while, Old Mrs. Ke turned her weary eyes to Ziyan.
"Who else has known the matter?"
"Only Wanli." said Ziyan, still with a drooping head.
"OK! Just let me be the last one to know it. Don't tell it to anyone else!"
Ziyan raised her head immediately.
"What... What about me? What are you going to do with me?"
"I don't know! Please don't ask me about that!" Old Mrs. Ke turned around painfully.
"I... I have to consider it. Before I have found a solution, I only beg you to be tight-mouthed! OK?"
Staring at Old Mrs. Ke, she felt herself purified by her tears because at last she had faced what she ought to face and had no intention to shake off her responsibilities!"
"OK!" She said firmly. "I will wait for your verdict."
