This is the first time that I have the motivation to write something, I don’t know where the temptation come from, perhaps because I have been in a totally unfamiliar city for almost 5 months , I don’t have much friends here nor do I have someone to listen to me , sometimes I fell that I would be driven crazy , sometimes I feel very sad, sometimes I just want to cry ,but I am not supposed to be ,cause I am getting old , not commonly said growing up, I feel exactly that I am growing old in a increasingly speed , everyone thought that I am not a mature man ,perhaps someone thought I am a joke , I don’t deny the fact that I like telling jokes, but that kind of behavior is based on the purpose of avoid being embarrassed, perhaps I have some problem in dealing with others , maybe I just get me into the corner , I feel that I shouldn’t care so much about what others’ opinion on me , but is it show some sort of self-centered? I don’t know , in this city I am a lonely man, I don’t have dreams ,I just can’t see my future , may god bless me, if it works I will believe in him!