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five jokes(1)
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Kids say it all
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said " Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that".
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Women talk more than men
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"
Dead Turtle
"Mommy, my turtle is dead," the little boy, Myrddin, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand. The mother kissed him on the head, then said," That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet. I don't want you...." Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Myrddin, your turtle is not dead after all." "Oh," the disappointed boy, wanting ice cream and a new pet, said. "Can I kill it?". Scales A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help." "Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers." Drunks
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend. "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
Post comment Comment (2 replies)
- Reply alicechang
- I like"Women talk more than men" and "Scales" the most
- Reply rainecho415
- I also like "Women talk more than men", when women say something the first time, men are always absent-minded, and then women would feel hurt and begin to nag.
