對過的一天完蛋日

中午一家人坐車出去探親，車開到保安停，有一位男子在用水清掃路上的灰，我看到他很認真地幫保安亭的人員做清潔。因為他是位不能講話，不能像正常人一樣思考的人，他雙親都不在了，大大哥也不在，現在只剩下他跟二哥住在一起。他家裏人像是沒有一個像是長得像樣的，但他們倆兄弟相依為命，甚是可嘉的，他二哥照顧著他，跟他住在一起。有時候上下班看到他，他都會跟我傻傻地笑或指著我想說些什麼，我也微微一笑回報他。有時候，我有吃的剛好帶在身上，我也會給他一兩個吃的，他很開心的。看到他這樣覺得他很勇敢，很堅強，很善良。在我小時候，我們就知道他的為人，他不會傷害人，而且他很樂於幫助別人。他的為人是善良的，雖然他不會說話，不會表達自己的想法。按一般人的觀念，他就是個傻子，啞巴。是的，我很理解，也很懂得一位殘障人士的痛苦之外。

車停在路上，不知為什麼路的附近站了好多人，我看到他一直在清掃路，根本就沒注意到後面有車過來，甚至連保安人員也沒注意到。此時，我爸怒氣衝衝地沖下車去，拉著地上的膠水管狠狠地扔到那個男子的身上。正在清潔的男子很茫然，他頓時才醒悟過來，後面有人，他轉過身來看著我爸惡狠狠地猛地死扯拉搶地奪過他手中的那條水管，然後，用手猛地往此男子身上掃射。此男子一目茫然不知所措，任我爸往他身上灑水，他很生氣，很想說話，可他不能言語，只能任事情發生。此事我在車上，看到這一幕驚人的場景，我非常生氣，我推開車門，直走到那位男子的身邊，手搭在他的肩上，我想為他擦掉臉上與身上的水，可我沒有，只是拍著他的肩，抹著身上的水，一直搖著頭對他講，不要理他。我想，“當時，他肯定很想跟我說，這人（我爸）太不可理喻，太過份了，。。。。。。。！看到他那滿臉委屈與不滿的樣子，我沖著那邊的老爸惡狠狠地罵他，我實在忍受不了一個正常人對一個殘障人士做出這樣不可理喻的舉止。他跟我對罵，我一直罵著他。上車後，在車上，我一直在跟他對罵著，我扯破喉嚨地跟他唱著對臺戲，他還好意思地咒我，　“你這吃內挖外的，你還摸那個傻子，他髒兮兮地，你還幫他說話，難怪你就死嫁不出去。”　聽著他這些話，我真得很哽兒，淚禁不住往窗外爬，“。。。。。。。”罵著，罵著，他摳不過我，身旁的另外兩位人士現在才幫口，說我爸的不是。我覺得很訝異，因為我在想，為什麼我身邊的親人會是這樣的一種人，他們從小到現在這樣對我，我都覺得很難受，為什麼還要這樣對待一個毫無惡意的殘障人呢？我老爸的這種行為，讓我作為女兒的不僅感到難過，更多的是覺得羞恥與慘愧。周圍這麼多人在圍觀一個正常男人對一個殘障人作出這種惡行，不僅讓我感到難堪，還讓我覺得很心痛。因為他是無辜的。頓時覺得自己是在他們的眼裏一直是一個這麼愚蠢與白癡的人，可是一直知道自己與他們是生活在兩個格格不入的世界裏。真是覺得很諷刺！為什麼要我這樣一個白癡生活在這樣的家庭裏，為什麼不是生活在另外一個世界呢？　

透過玻璃窗，凝視著外面的世界，眼淚就是禁不住誘惑地往外爬，心裏寒冷著，打著冷顫，痛苦著人家的痛苦，體會著人家感受不到的委屈。去到親戚家，一邊吃飯，眼淚一邊為我在鼓掌，好不爭氣呀。羞到家了。吃完飯後，無聊到家，跟我表姐的女兒玩，這小布丁太可愛，調皮了，一直陪著她的洋娃娃穿換衣服洗頭梳頭，後來被我用吹風筒，燒焦了洋娃娃的頭髮，我只能笑，那小丫頭也假裝生氣，也在大笑，該換新髮型了。太好玩了。我得成為髮型師，幫洋妞剪個劉海了。眾人都在笑我跟小孩子在傻玩，傻瓜似的，幼稚。

回到家後，心裏總有塊疙瘩，揮灑不去，心難受，很不是滋味。為什麼呢？？？看著電影長髮公主，太搞笑，太溫馨了，心裏感覺得實在點了。從小到現在，說得不好聽地，我給人的感覺就是傻，白癡，幼稚，單純，好聽點地就是善良。好諷刺喲！！每每聽到某些善意的人對我說，“你不要相信那些男人的話，他們騙你的。你這麼簡單，這麼幼稚，這麼單純。你找你們那裏的人，你身邊的人，可能會好些。”為什麼呢？一聽到這些話，我心裏壓抑著難受，為什麼要對我說這種貶義的，不樂觀的話。我相信總會有好人存在的。我相信會有人相信的。我發現我的黴運不像以前那麼重，可是還在發黴著，最近慢慢發現原來我還是有人幫助與關心的。我一直在相信著，在堅持著，。。。。。。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　2011.01.01　　　

Finished the day on day off

At noon the family go for a ride to visit relatives, he drove to the security stop, one man in the gray water, cleaning the road, I saw he was serious security booth personnel to help to do cleaning. He is unable to speak because, not thinking like a normal person, he is not in the parents, big brother is not in, I have only lived with him and brother. His family did not like the looks like a decent one, but two of them brothers had each other, is very commendable, and he cared for his brother, living together with him. Sometimes, to work to see him, he would laugh with me or pointing me silly to say something, I return his smile. Sometimes I just have to eat with me, I will give him one or two to eat, he was very happy. To see him think he is very brave, very strong, very kind. When I was young, we know him personally, he will not hurt people, and he was very willing to help others. He's a man of good, although he would not speak, do not express their own ideas. By most people's idea, he is a fool, dumb. Yes, I understand, also knows the pain of a disabled person outside.

Car on the road, I do not know why the road near the station a lot of people, I see he has been clean way, did not even notice the back of a car over, even the security guards did not notice. At this point, my dad rushed off to anger, took the floor of the glue tube mercilessly thrown into the body of the man. Loss is a very clean man, and he suddenly just wake up one behind, he turned and looked at my dad died suddenly viciously grabbed his hand and pulled hard enough to grab a piece of pipe, and then, suddenly his hand to fire this man. One eye at a loss for this man, he was watering my dad to him, he was very angry and would like to speak, but he can not speak, can only let things happen. This I am in the car and saw this scene amazing scene, I am very angry, I opened the door, straight men who go around, hand on his shoulder, and I want to wipe his face and body of water, I did not, just patting his shoulder, wiping away the body of water, has been shaking his head told him to ignore him. I thought, "At that time, he affirmed that he'd like to me that this man (my dad) was too ridiculous, too far ,。。。。。。。! see his face the way grievances and discontent, I directed at the side of the father scolded him fiercely, and I can not stand the disabled a normal person to make such an unreasonable manner. He insults me, I always swore to him. on the bus, in the car I've been told he swore, I tear my throat to sing opposing him, he the nerve to curse me, "You digging outside to eat in, you feel the fool, he soiled You also help to him, no wonder you're dead marry. "Listen to him these words, I'm really choked children, tears could not help but to climb out of the window,." . . . . . . "Swore, swore, but he pull me next to two other people now to help the mouth that is not my dad. I feel very surprised, because I was wondering why my side of the family will be the case A people who do this to me from childhood to now, I feel sick, why not ill treat a disabled person? my dad this behavior, I feel sorry for her daughter's not only more The shame is ashamed and miserable. so many people crowd around a normal man to make such an evil person with disabilities, not only made me feel embarrassed, it made me feel very sad. because he is innocent. suddenly feel that they are In their eyes has always been a people so stupid and idiotic, but has been know and they are living in two incompatible world. really feel ironic! why I'm such an idiot living in this family, why not living in another world?

Through the window, staring out into the world out of tears is tempted to climb, and my heart was cold, the name of chills, pain with other people's pain, feel the experience of the people's grievances. Go to relatives, while eating, while the tears in the applause for me, it really live up to expectations ah. Shame home. After dinner, bored at home, playing with my cousin's daughter, the little pudding so cute, playful, and has been dressed with her doll to wear hair shampoo, I use the hair dryer later, a doll's hair burned I can only laugh, the little girl pretend to get angry, but also laughter, the hair of the new ones. Too much fun. I have to become a hair stylist, to help cut a fringe of the Babes. They were all laughing at me playing with the children in the silly, a fool, naive.

At home, my heart always block pimple, do not sway the heart sick, very bad. Why? ? ? Rapunzel watching the movie, too funny, too warm, and my heart is to feel the point. From childhood to the present, put it bluntly, I give people the feeling that stupid, idiot, naive, simple, nice point ground is good. Good satire yo! ! Often hear some well-meaning people said to me, "Do not believe those men, they lie to you. You are so simple, so naive, so simple. You find your people there, the people around you may be better. "Why? On hearing these words, my heart suppressed uncomfortable, why should such a negative connotation to me, is not optimistic. I believe there will always be good people there. I believe that someone will believe it. I found my bad luck not so heavy, but also mold the recently discovered that I was slow to help and concern. I have been believed in, while adhering to the. . . . . .
2011.01.01