I'm not happy recently, and often get into depression even anger. There are many reasons, such as pressure from job, too much expense, foolish decision,  uncomfortable relationship.

We will hold our wedding ceremony in two weeks. this process is not always perfect. I don't have marriage leave in new company, so I'm not prefer to let too many colleagues know this news. actually I don't think it's a happiness event which is worth sharing with everyone around you except your family. While dealing with the issues of preparing wedding, my husband had many different oppions with me. Most of time we didn't try to persuade each other and just showed disappointment and impatience, because we were more and more...careless. 

when i'm on the boring way to work, I often image all kinds of scenes in my mind. this morning, because of the bad weather and traffic jam, because of the disordered meeting and terrible sleep, i imaged that i had a quarrel with my husband in wedding ceremony and he slapped me. in that moment i felt it was like really happen and i was much calm to began to quickly think whether i could accept divorce.....maybe i will.