Today, I was in a bad mood. I tried to cheer myself up but I failed. I knew I should not be pessimistic about it. To be honest, I hate myself to be so fragile. To some extent, I looked down upon myself. Owing to my low spirit, I have less motivation to finish my tasks. On the whole day, I only was covered with gloomy emotion. I felt terrible.

I managed to calm down myself and try to figure out some solutions to the difficulties I encountered recently. I do not know why I felt so bad. Maybe I thought it too much. My heart was consumed with the great sentimentality. So awful! I need to change.

Today I pondered on some questions. That is, what is the work? Work is only a means of supporting ourselves and our family? Is the work that can make a lot of money a good job? When life reality encounters and challenges personal goals, what will happen next? What will you choose between the comfortable work and a challengeable position that is good for your future potential? These questions are haunting in my mind for a long time. Facing these troublesome questions, I just lost myself as if I am walking in the mist not seeing the direction. It really upset me. It tortures me a lot. I really want to rush out the mist and see the bright sky. Nevertheless, where is the clear sky? I do not know. I know I have not found my strong points and I have not got a clear future planning.

I still remembered that a thought-provoking saying: “there will be a great distance after graduation for five years. And after five years, almost your life is destined." so I quite understand I have time to make up. It is not late.

But now the prioritized thing I need to do is to figure out my direction. It is a tough task, but I need to finish it. During this process, I need to keep a good mood, because I have no excuse to make me blue, and even make people around me upset.

Now all my roommates has gone to bed and I am listening to the music “this is my now” and pondering these questions that will decide my whole life.

“There was a time I packed my dreams away

Living in a shell, hiding from myself

There was a time when I was so afraid

Thought I’d reached the end

Baby that was then

I am made of more than my yesterday’s

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment

But I look around

I can’t believe the love I see

My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts

That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah

I’ve settled forless now I’m ready for more

Ready for more

This is my now!

……”

With the beautiful melody, I just pondering……

Where is my future? I am still considering……