Recently I have been learning to drive with a woman trainer, who is already in her forties. When I first met her, I felt she was kind of quiet and easy-going. Before I signed for the training, I heard that some trainers were rather short-tempered. I’m no longer young, and naturally I could be a little slower than youngsters. To avoid the embarrassment of being scolded like a little kid, I pulled some strings to find one who was less “strict”, or rather less easy to get mad. And she was the one recommended by someone I trusted.

As time went on, I came to know that the impression I got was not true. She could point out your mistakes quite bluntly. She is very serious, and seldom smiles. All she say while training is negative like: Wrong again! Where are you looking? Didn’t I tell you to release the clutch slowly? Why did you decide to learn to drive when you are so stupid?... So when we practiced with her, we were always nervous. I was not the worst one in the group, but everyone had his share of being reproached again and again.

I don’t think she is a bad woman or irresponsible trainer. On the contrary, I believe she was trying hard to do the job well. She did all these for the good of us. The problem is whether it is a good way of training or is it effective to train in such a harsh way? If I were in her shoes, I would think: Why are they always making such mistakes? Is there anything I need to improve in my teaching? On the other hand, we all need to be encouraged or praised whatever our age. It would make matters even worse if you scold students again and again, for humans would get nervous. I wonder if she ever heard of the Pygmalion effect. Maybe coaches like her have never learned educational psychology. Alas, it seems tragically to be a reality we have to face.

I’m also wondering: Is it the kind of life she really wants? Being so serious and tough all day long is bad for one’s health, isn’t it? Training is probably her lifelong career; does she like to spend the rest of her life in such a way? Is this the kind of life you really want, my dear coach?