“You may go outside and have a rest, Mr. Fu.” the doctor said after 10 minutes of enquiry and check up. She then turned to me and said, “According to the CT and the symptoms he has, I regret to tell you that your father probably has lung cancer. Considering his old age, however, we cannot do anything further to confirm the diagnosis. I’m not 100% sure but all signs point to this conclusion.” Not long before, he had told us there were pains in the chest. Though we were mentally prepared, we still couldn’t face this cruel reality. I could feel my eyes welled up.

Seeing the expressions on our faces, my father said, “Don’t be so sad! Every person will eventually die. I’m not afraid of dying. I only hope the pain will go or get less severe if possible.” I became so emotional that I was at a loss for words at that moment. On the way back home, I managed to tell him what was in my heart, “Dad, you’ve got to be tough. We all love you. We still need your guidance in many aspects. You’re still a big tree to all of us!”

In my memory my father was a very strict person. Though most of the time he worked away from home, I was still afraid of him. In the eyes of a little boy, he was even a little unreasonable. As a boy, I had my own small world and could be rebellious sometimes. Unavoidably, I was beaten several times. When I was about 13, I was bold enough to express my dissatisfaction and try to reason with him through letters, which made him very angry, but he never struck me again after that. Frankly, we had different views; maybe that’s what people refer to as generation gap. However, as time went by, we learned to get along in a respectful manner.

I used to believe maternal love is, to some extent, more desirable and more comfortable while paternal love is somewhat vague and distant. Now I am a father myself, looking back upon the years we lived together, I feel that I was wrong. Mother and father are different not only physiologically but in the role they play in the family. When I felt sad or irritated, I could get comfort from my mum. At the same time I also needed strength and correct ways to observe and analyze and more importantly, the ability to remain calm in adverse circumstances. And for those qualities I have to admit I learned a lot from my father!

Time flies! Now Dad is no longer the one who was robust and ambitious, yet he remains active in many ways. He is a person who will never stay idle though he’s already in his eighties. Unfortunately, my mum died several years ago, and we asked him to live with us in town. But he insists on living alone in the countryside and never stays with us for more than 3 days. Being his son, I know he just doesn’t want to trouble us. He grows a lot of vegetables around the house in my home village. When they are ripe and ready to pick, he will send us a short message or give us a call, saying thanks to the good weather, the vegetables are good and ready to be picked, please come and take them.

How I wish I had not said anything that made him angry! I told myself that I would never do such things again in the rest of my life. He has been working hard throughout his life and has contributed so much to the family as well as to the nation. He deserves to live a happy and comfortable life after so many years of hard work. Since his retirement, he has been quite healthy for a man that age. However, life is so unpredictable and once again it shows its cruel and ruthless side. Why can fate be so unfair? Is it a joke you played on him or just a careless mistake?

Dad, we just want to tell you: It is unfortunate to suffer from this illness in your old age, but you have our love and we’ll try whatever means to help you fight against the disease, whatever the cost! You’re not alone and you have to be strong! You were a big tree where we could take shelter from rain and wind, and now you’re still a big tree in our eyes.