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Just say No
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Have you ever met the situation that you feel hard to refuse requests from friends which actually they are not easy to deal with or beyond your ability to dispose of? I think Yes, we more or less had that kind of problems.
It is really tough at this such moment when we feel difficult helping them. But out of embarrassment, we commit and swallow all the bitter mess. After that we live in the nightmare to do things which could not have been involved in. Some guys aks for money and promise they will return back soon. Some ask to help them write a paper or do something else. Even if we are ok to lend the money or adequate to do things we can, while we are not free to do all of orders from them.
We have to do the choice of "To do or not do to". Usually we meet the Face Problem, and are pushed to do something we are unwilling to do. Because those things are not assigned from our boss and nothing to be with any personal related connection. Those guys take for granted by just asking for freely, such as, "Hey, can you translate this paragraph words into English/Chinese? Thank you very much." Sometimes I meet this problem. I just tell them all I can do is to provide some suggestions, but the translation work must be done by yourself. Surely, it is not that a big case. But I just want to let them know as the individual everyone has to be independent. Since everyone has his business and life. The interesting thing is some even did not say Thank You when I helped. Of course, I live well without the Thank You. A Thank You does not cost much time and energy, while it is the courtesy as the qualified man to ask for help.
I am sure I'd like to help as long as I can. But I just say no when I feel it is uncomfortable and beyond my ability and field. Besides, rejection does not really harm so much as we think. So do not be so hard on the issue we can not. Another example is the relationship of a boy and girl. Any part shows the crush on the other, if another part does really feel they are not the same league, the best option is to reject. By doing so, it can prevent the two from further hurt. Though it can be crutal, never mind, there are flowers around, whichever we are about choose and doomed to be with the right one is under the patient trial and match.
Simply saying no is not that hard.
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Post comment Comment (6 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- Yes, sometimes I wonder why it is so easy for them to ask for favors. Some even ask directly without even explaining why. The most sickening are those who shows us displeasure when we can't help them.
All of us have come across situations of friends wanting to borrow money. I would only lend to them if it is of really urgent nature, his/her background history, trustworthiness and reputation. It is not that I am stingy but quite often, you would lost a friend after you lend out money which they can't or fail to return. There is a famous saying ''Neither a lender or a borrower be'', so it is better not to lend or borrow.
As for romantic relationships, I can't agree that if the two are incompatible, then they should stay apart. Everybody have some imperfections and nobody is perfect. Time does create fondness, so if two people are together for some time, they may appreciate each other, but this is not recommendable. Two incompatible people together is like wearing shoes two sizes smaller and the longer it continues, the more it would hurt.
- Reply ada23
- it seems i am the girl who dare say no if i meet the request beyond my ability, I will explain why as follows:
at work, first, it is not part of my job, i can support you if i am available, or i can tell you i am very busy so you had better wait and i do not know i will finish unless you are willing to wait. When i meet the request beyone my reachment, i will tell you directly, what level i can surely do for you, and that means the possibility of failure so you can choose need me to do or not. Now it is others choice so i won`t get any burden to handle.
- Reply teadrinking
- Nice, saying no is just release, feel no burden.
ada23: it seems i am the girl who dare say no if i meet the request beyond my ability, I will explain why as follows:
at work, first, it is not part of my jo ...
- Reply teadrinking
- Nice metaphor of shoes explanation about the relationship, more vividly.
sunnyv: Yes, sometimes I wonder why it is so easy for them to ask for favors. Some even ask directly without even explaining why. The most sickening are those ...
- Reply IMNONARCISSUS
- Yes, it is really hard to refuse others' request, especially in China. If you did do that it always means you Lost his friendship.
- Reply teadrinking
- Quite right. But sometimes we have to make the choice. The friendship built on that kind of relation, it really deserves not to maintain.
IMNONARCISSUS: Yes, it is really hard to refuse others' request, especially in China. If you did do that it always means you Lost his friendship.
