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Removal from the list
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Now and then, I receive a message from a friend on wechat as a verification of whether he is deleted from my list. Usually, the content of such a kind of message would be in the form of greetings. It will avoid embarrassment if your friend still saves you a room on his list.
If he was removed, the message cannot successfully be sent to me. And he would see a hint: “The one you sent is not available because you are not on his list, please add him as friend send it again.”
I can imagine when the guy knows he is not on the list or is blacklisted, he definitely deletes me. Actually, I have never sent such a message to all of my friends. But I am sure that some guys did that to me. Once I contacted them for some cases, I saw that hint. I defriended his icon from my list and did not choose to add again. Let it go.
People come and go. Regardless of how many friends on the list, there are few good friends whom you can keep in touch with on regular basis. According to the Dunbar's number proposed by Robin Dunbar, a professor of evolutionary anthropology at the University of Oxford, it suggests a person has his size of community number within 150. That study was conducted on the basis among people who live geographically close to us.
We are more convenient to contact people all over the world by internet. This helps us make easier to meet more people. Usually, people have many friends online as the development of social network; we easily access to internet meeting more people than we could do in reality life. They might have a wide range of friends over 1000, or even more, however they often only talk to few fixed friends. Those fixed ones are real friends we can share and talk.
If so, we really do not have to worry about that we do not make many friends. Fact, a person has the limitation of energy, time, and restriction of data analysis from a human being brain,etc. 150 probably is the maximum number of a person’s friends he could make and cope with.
To be honest, I do not have that many friends over 150 to contact so often. Only quite few friends I can usually connect with. Over two thirds of those friends on my list I hardly recognize them. Those we barely know only met once or several times before. What If there were on such good friends? It is also quite normal. We are living in different social circles.
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Post comment Comment (5 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- Unfriending or deletion of a friend from our social media contact list can have unpleasant or surprising backlash. Some people take such deletion too seriously. They see it as a personal rejection and may react angrily. However, quite often those deletion are due to long time inactivity by both sides. With a long list of inactive contacts, some of them would have to be deleted to make it workable.
Most people only have a handful of close contacts, about 10 to 20 frequent contacts, up to 100 prospective contacts. The rest are probably a name only and we often forget where we knew them from.
We need to have these contacts because we would need to contact them or they contact us in matters of mutual concern. It creates a feeling that we have sufficient friend around. In the past when we did not have these social media contacts, we felt quite isolated.
I like the idea of being able to contact over the internet and across the oceans with people from far and near. That allows us to find our own bearings and understand the world and ourselves better.
- Reply teadrinking
- All of our life, there are only few friends we can frequently contact. Though we meet many people, where they are from and who they are, we only have the ability to own such a small community of friends we can have.
sunnyv: Unfriending or deletion of a friend from our social media contact list can have unpleasant or surprising backlash. Some people take such deletion too ...
While this is the scene that we experience on the life journey. Though we see many trees and flowers passed by, we can not remember all of those, only can we save in mind is the nice memory.
- Reply sunnyv
teadrinking: All of our life, there are only few friends we can frequently contact. Though we meet many people, where they are from and who they are, we only have ...
Agree.
- Reply IMNONARCISSUS
- What we have been treated just as we have treated others. No necessary to think too much about that
- Reply teadrinking
- You got the point.
IMNONARCISSUS: What we have been treated just as we have treated others. No necessary to think too much about that
