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My colleague asked me: “Have you given any thought about dating a girl online?”
We walked on the bank of the river after lunch, and I was interrupted by his question.
“Seriously! what?” I asked.
“You know, it is prevalent that a bachelor will order a deal online and bring his fake girlfriend back home. It is Spring Festival, isn’t it?” He explained.
“Oh, didn’t know. Never got such an idea. I just spend time with parents and do some others.” I replied.
“Aha, you see. AS long as there are needs, there are supplies.” He laughed.
“Right. Almost everything can be found online as we think of. But, I really have no such an idea about girl-dating thing. Not that bad to stay single.” I told him.
Every spring festival, it could be the best time that most parents and relatives grouping together to inquire of marriage, incoming, promotion and blah, blah, blah. This chance they would never miss, since this the time people are gathering to talk and discuss, of course, some of those talks are more like small talks and gossips.
The case probably escalates to comparison about how remarkable one’s social status is, how big fortune that Mr. Lee made, how lucky Miss Wong finds a good husband. Everything seems to be very impeccable and perfect. Then a huge burden loads down upon the shoulder with the doubt by asking: “How come everybody lives so well, and I am feeling tired and having no sense of happiness. I see myself working hard all year around.” The feeling of new year frozen to be meaningless, only the hope exists the it should end up soon and get out the restriction from cage.
While sometimes we find that everyone has his happiness, also something bothered and stuck. Maybe, that uncle Yong suffers the pain of losing best family members. Or the Lady who runs a successful career is now worrying her marriage due to derail of her husband with an affair. Even that billionaire prefers kicking the bucket rather than to dealing with designated successor.
You are the person who leads the life as you want. Nobody else really dominates you. Only you are the one who should change and improve the condition of yours.
“You know what. I’d rather want a time machine.”
“Why?” He wondered.
“Because then I can trip with time. If so, now I can skip to the spring festival eve and pay you the New Year’s call in advance”, I said.
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Post comment Comment (5 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- Nice of you to bring up this interesting topic at this appropriate time and you wrote it quite well.
Quite a lot of people are disturbed or annoyed by such matters. The pressures of the Spring Festival accountability or performance report to parents and relatives is driving people crazy. Throughout the year, parents pressure their sons and daughters to find a partner and get married. Now, the new year is here and they have to return home to face shocking questions of ''what? still no boyfriend or girlfriend? Still no chance of marrying? Not bought your house yet? Why is your salary so low?'' Then next comes those nonsense success stories of relatives or neighbors buying houses, cars, happy marriage, top jobs, high salaries, travels, money contributions and luxuries for parents, etc. I have come across a lot of these stories and the end result is that most of it are doubtful. Their offsprings are confused, feel so helpless and wonder whether they are a failure in achievements. Relatives exaggerate those success stories just to alleviate their own social standing and have self satisfaction.
First, is high income, good jobs. Most people can only have an ordinary regular job with salary sufficient for their own daily living and send some to their parents. Very few have top salary and high position. May be a few may be well qualified or having strong connections can get a high pay job but there are very few so fortunate. Some may venture into business but most new businesses are destined to fail and lose all. A successful business require a lot of money, expertise, connections and experience. How many people have these advantages. Very few. Most of the people I come across hold on to a regular job. There are not many good chances for them to advance. Some are tied to their jobs and cannot afford to risk job changes. Some dare to change and end up in a similar or worse job. The economy is worsening now and in the coming months, job security could be affected. There are times to take risks, but now is not the time. People should be forewarned and take caution.
Second is marriage. Some parents believe that marriage is easy and simple. Just find a boy or girl and get married. They would sometimes arrange blind dates putting their children in extreme embarrassment. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. We need a person who we really love, trust and can spend the rest of our lives together. Some people succumb to these pressures and go into a loveless rushed marriage, hoping time would create love. This is dangerous. Such would only result in divorce and parents have to suffer under daughters in law of rushed marriages. Everyone should think carefully before committing themselves to a marriage to avoid a permanent regret. I, myself, prefer to remain single because I have yet to come across a girl who is suitable for me, can maintain a lifelong true relationship and live through good and bad times together. Most of the girls are interested in the glamour and promises of marriage and don't understand the challenges of marriage. So, why complicate my life? The suitable Miss. Right would appear someday. Just let fate take care and let nature take it's course.
The best way to overcome these challenges is to understand your own overall situation. Don't compare yourself with others on so called success stories. A wrong decision can ruin your life. Do things according to your own ability and capability. Best wishes have a happy new year.
- Reply teadrinking
- Yup. This happens all the time. Most guys will talk of something like that. It is really very boring sometimes, though those gossipers are fond of it. You have done the good analysis.
sunnyv: Nice of you to bring up this interesting topic at this appropriate time and you wrote it quite well.
Quite a lot of people are disturbed or annoyed ...
I'd like doing what I want. Surely, sometimes I will be asked those questions. Out of courteous, I just simply respond without no more details about myself. Some guys probably assume me is a dull and unromantic person.
All right. I just go on with my way. Whatever they say, I just ignore them. At the first beginning, I thought I was sort of being offensive. While later, as aging, I gradually find I can tackle those gossips well by feeling nothing. With smiles, I just nod to them and say, "Yes, you are right. Maybe now it is not the time. Just wait." Again and again. They stop asking me those questions. And I opine this a nice choice by nobody asks me any further.
Talking of how much and how lures the price of a Kentucky's sharp discount there has, I'd rather like doing my things. At some time, people are just busying using smart phones to see if there is a chance to have a lucky money from promotion in WeChat and Alipay. That really costs much time and energy to do that. Hours later, they jubilantly found there was a luck by obtaining some lucky little money. I would feel tired of poking the screen of my phone for a long time. After that there was nothing but red spots I could see on the phone. Um, not so good for eyes proection. While I was fully making the time and did not have it wasted.
The efficiency of work and life could be another choice. That is right, everyone has his own style. I do not push them and do not judge them. I only give my thought on the thing focused which I need to do.
Marriage, social status, incoming, big fortune are those something good, but we can not be like somebody, since we are only those ordinary people. It could be fine to entertain and kill time doing something.
I often say to friends, if the world is full guys like me, it is really boring. Since I do not get involved in so many colorful activities. "Shopper owners really need you guys", I told them. Also I myself is another side connected to this society. Another part of this unseen world. Actually, we are so interacted yet unique. As individual, goes for anything as long as there is something in line with their ways.
The point is never being influenced by others. This important alert may seem not so interesting. Since we are easily going to be lost by temptation. Make more friends who can be your tutors who can guide us and inspire us. If not, it is ok, we can hold on the direction.
As you said that doing things according to your own ability and capacity. I am fully affirmative. Thanks a lot for your sharing of rich experience for us.
I learnt a lot. Best wishes.
From Teadrinking.
- Reply sunnyv
- You do write quite fast, don't you. That's good and indicates that you have strong writing power. I like your simple approach to life. That is what makes life enjoyable and worthwhile. Recently, I saw a book at the bookstore titled 'Simply your life''. I bought it and followed the advice therein. It does take unnecessary stress off our minds. I had no choice but to live a stressful time before in the course of my commercial business. My business is gradually phasing out and I can go back to my desired stress free style. We should all be flexible and adapt to different situations.
- Reply teadrinking
- Since I have kept doing exercises, and now have it improved somehow.
sunnyv: You do write quite fast, don't you. That's good and indicates that you have strong writing power. I like your simple approach to life. That is what ma ...
We always say Practice Makes Perfect. While we can not stick with what we want. It is hard to persist.
Now I get used to the simple life, and think it is good for me, at least, I think so. For a long time, I have been wondering what I should be like. Later, I try to understand and know the world around us. I am more patient to deal with things and never feel bad if I am doing something which might be weird on others' eyes.
Lead a simple life is easy. While how to continue it, it does cost courage to tackle this barricade ahead of us.
Yes, in the new year, I have some time to read and do something as I want. Time is the best gift and I should never miss it.
The spring festival is coming soon. People are busy with preparing for the big moment. Wish everyone a good luck.
Agree.