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It is quite often that we are asked to do somebody else a favor because he or she is needed for help. Usually it is just that normal. We sometimes do have some troubles and no one else can circumvent difficulties.
Some guys will come out to say and ask again and again for help. Of many questions they inquire, actually, I do not read any troublesome things at all. To be honest, many things we can just resort to online searching. Though Google is not permitted to access, we can have some other search engines to look for what we want. As a matter of fact, the internet is a gigantic treasure as in an encyclopedia with enormous volumes of knowledge.
Just several days ago, a friend wanted me to help him explain a file sent into my inbox. When I opened it after work, I found it was an electronic voucher. It has specific introduction of the time, place and announcements with full indication. I told him it was a voucher and more details that he could just follow the introduction. Actually I knew he would have known it by looking up dictionary and read the main idea. In fact his hours of waiting are enough for him to conduct the study. And I also knew my reply did not cater to his satisfaction since he wanted me to give him a Chinese version. Looking up those unfamiliar words do not cost much time, and it is not a long article which requires a lot energy and time.
I can be sure most of us do meet that kind of people who just want all of those things freely as if we are doomed to be volunteers. I am the kind of one who is willing to help. Usually I do not directly give out the answer but guide the guy who wants to solve problems. By doing so, it will let the guy knows how to figure out a problem on his own. Next time when he meets that issue, he won’t feel it hard to tackle that. While, most of those guys just do not have that patience, they’d rather say: “Hey, just give me the answer,” “Can you help to translate this paragraph?” “I have a listening material, would you mind transferring it into words, since I cannot dictate it well.” or “Can you just tell me how to invest the money.” Sorry, I am not the god with that patience to solve all the petty trifles. I am not hired to solve problems.
When those guys are refused out of content expectation, some of them would even say bad words. I can only understand that is really how weak the relation is and those ones are not deserved to be on lists. I always think if I am given help; I will be with great appreciation. If not, I still feel fine since I can do it by myself.
Not everybody is free at all the time and not everybody is obliged to offer the free favor. Be grateful to thank those who have helped us ever. A mutual understanding and respect lights up glory.
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Post comment Comment (10 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- This happens all the time at workplaces. Some of them would ask for guidance or assistance and won't even say thank you. When it is our turn to ask them for the help, they would appear impatient and troubled. In fact, we live in a civilized world. Nobody is invincible. We all need other's help at sometime or other others also need us in the same manner.
I have also met some people who are really grateful and would never forget the favors we have done for them. There is a Chinese saying;
''When you receive a favor, remember it for a thousand years''
Gratitude is the best attitude. Being your day with a grateful heart.
- Reply cicipurple
- I have also been confronted with the similar situations. For example, after hearing that I did a pretty good job in the final English test, a guy from the music appreciation class asked me to help him with English for free. Actually, if he was my friend, I would help him without question. But I seldom knew him because the only intersection between us was that we took the same music class every Wednesday afternoon. Besides, he was the person who needed help while his attitude and tone made me feel like that it’s my duty to help him which was really annoying. So I refused him and he called me a selfish mean girl.
We had to admit that some people only take but seldom share. Some of them were spoiled by their parents during childhood. So when they grow up, they take others’ kindness and help for granted. Once their demands are not met, they are likely to vent their anger and inner dissatisfaction on others. For this kind of people, as what you have mentioned, I think we can guide them to solve their problems for once or twice. But if they just want the result and aren’t willing to learn how to solve it themselves, I think it’s time to say no to them.
- Reply Change_me
- Can't agree more! Before we want to ask for help, we should think about wether we can do this by ourself!
- Reply sweetolive
- You are doing a right way, I don’t think people should take it granted for asking help all the time without having a try on their own.
I am not a person like asking help unless I have tried really really hard, still can’t get it. Then I might have to ask friends, but this happens not often.
If only one friend ask for help, it’s ok, if there are 10, then you can’t do anything which on your dream list. Sometimes we don’t have to satisfy others by contributing your time.
For those people say bad behind you, forget about it, it’s not worth to be a friend with even think about it.
- Reply Rosanna
- When some guys asks for your helps, if it is worth to tell them the way how to solve the problem, if the guys are unworthy we do so, just tell them directly, sorry I cannot.
- Reply teadrinking
- Yes, most of them do not say "Thank you". So I gradually learn to keep distance from those guys. I am with the warm heart and meanwhile trying to sharpen eyes.
sunnyv: This happens all the time at workplaces. Some of them would ask for guidance or assistance and won't even say thank you. When it is our turn to ask th ...
- Reply teadrinking
- In most of those cases, I just feel boring and finally say no to them. Of course, I do not do that impolitely, I just suggest that you can resort to some guys who are more proficient to solve their problems.
cicipurple: I have also been confronted with the similar situations. For example, after hearing that I did a pretty good job in the final English test, a guy from ...
The time is limited, we have to make full use of the precious moment and do not be occupied by all of those boring trifles. Sometimes, saying NO is quite necessary.
- Reply teadrinking
- Yes, we have to make sure if we really can figure the problem out. If not, we also need to know where exactly is the thing we do not know. For example, if we do not know some expressions, we can at least learn to get the main idea of that paragraph, and then ask for help about those unfamiliar words and phases. It shows that we are with sincere admiration to ask for help. It will double the possibility of the person, who we resort to, promises to help us.
Change_me: Can't agree more! Before we want to ask for help, we should think about wether we can do this by ourself!
- Reply teadrinking
- We have the same idea, but most guys are just do not realize that. They usually take it for granted that it is a piece of cake to solve problem for them. They even do not thank us and just accept answers as if they were born to deserve enjoy them.
sweetolive: You are doing a right way, I don’t think people should take it granted for asking help all the time without having a try on their own.
I am not a p ...
Those guys who never learn only by asking questions without serious consideration finally fail the ability of thinking on their own.
- Reply teadrinking
- At first, I was very warm to help them. Now I choose to help those who really need help. Otherwise, I just politely refuse them.
Rosanna: When some guys asks for your helps, if it is worth to tell them the way how to solve the problem, if the guys are unworthy we do so, just tell them di ...
