Now I am really conscience-striken . because I let people who cared about me down . can you imagine doing nothing but hanging around two months at home ? lf life must be carried on like this , sooner or later my world crumles .

  I feel so sorry about what I did last night for my sister . she was so tired that slept soon . however , careful though I tried to be , I made so much noise . she was waken up and so angry . she has done so much for me , words cannot express how thankful I am . but see what I pay her back ? how did I treat her ? I am such a black sheep and nuisance .

  I don’t know where I was wrong at the very beginning . do I aim so high ? or am I too ambitious ? I desired to be a woman of value as well as a woman of great success . in no case should I give up .