Maybe I made a mistake. Everytime, I feel like this I think it's my fault. I don't need people's sympathiy, and I just need sometime and some space to calm down and feagure it out. Like I thought in the past someone like him will be by taboo. I would stay away from him and just be an audience to see what happen to him and people around him.But gradually, I thought I went to another oppsite way all this two or three years. I become a good friend of him and had a crush on him. I get to know this is about a month ago when he was still in Saudi Arabia, we chat through qq, he said if only he choose me as his girlfriend when we still at school would be great. And I know that would be his joke and it sounds ridiculouse at that time because he already had a girlfriend. I just keep saying what I am talking and ignore that joke, but he said that for several time in the following chatting process,I know I need to say something about it. But I don't know how to say it as a friend,just as a friend.And next he said he wonder what kind of person my future boyfriend would be, he said if he become my boyfriend, he would be abused by me everyday.That sounds funny. And I said that's the way I show my love to the people I loved. I would never treat strange people like that.It's his honor.He said maybe when you have time you can treat me like that. I said what do you think why I call you Wang xiao jian. I thought you are really fit this nicename. And you actually want be "abused" by me. But he said so you love me anyway. I thought wow, things got a little across the line. Just friend is the principle. I intended to control my feelings and calm down then I said in a funny way, I don't have the qualification and I would not dare to abuse you, you are the boss of our class.How's that sounds like ? hehe~~ He send me a face that almost crying. I said are you upset ? because I said that ? I know he's got a girlfriend, so I said I need one that would only treat me well, you undersand? He said I would. And this is the time that all rules break. I don't know how to explain the feelings. Complecated! I said that's nonsense.What you gonna do to your grilfriend ? He said if his grilfriend dumped him in the future he would let me know.Wow, I get it now, I'm not the fucking spare tyre. Yes, I am angry. Wait ! Am I angry? Why? Oops ~~I made a mistake. I should clam down and let it go~~