Blogs
I Must
||
On January 15th of this year, my mother passed away in Shenchao Hospital at the age of 58. She suffered from hypoxia caused by pulmonary interstitial fibrosis due to a stage IV adenocarcinoma originated in her lungs. Nobody could ever imagine how strong the emotional bond between us two, and as a result, how catastrophically destructive her abrupt departure could shake my world to rubble. I've tried but failed to run away from this. Now I'm still struggling to live and to make sense of a world without her. I do not know if I could ever get over this. I wrote this poem only as a reminder of what lies ahead.
I Must
I lost myself, at last,
when she burned to dust.
A haunting spell, it cast,
made my innards rust.
So light and gay, the past,
but can't let go, I just.
The time is flowing fast,
thus seize my life, I must.
Post comment Comment (10 replies)
- Reply snowflying
- so sorry to hear you say these. my friend. life is rich colourful indeed,incluging all kind of emotions. sometimes, to us,life is not beautiful, even the suffering,the pain. but we must face because we have no any other replace to choice. the mother's love is the most love in this world,no any love can replace it at all. losing our relative especially our parent surely is the biggest pain in our emotion world, even we hezitate whether we go through such a pain process,that's heart broken pain, unforgettable in our lifetime,forever,whenver or hoq long we can't forget in our inner heart.
but life must be continue, we must go ahead day by day with such a heart spiritual pain. cherich mother's love in our deep heart,and live future life in our love's memory. i think any parents hope their children live a happy life,whether she is in this human world or heaven kindom.
pray for your mother. wish you live yourself well too.my friend.
- Reply 2010jj
- Sorry to hear that. I hope you should get over it, even though it's hard for you to do that. Actually, I don't know how to console you, just hope you're going to be good.
- Reply bluephoebe
- How pale and powerless all the words seem to be at such a moment! “Life goes on.” “She is in a better place now.” “Sorry for your loss.” --- People would say things like that when someone dies. But how could they be any helpful? Only those who also lost someone closest would understand the pain. I can’t even try pretending. So I keep silent, and light a candle in my heart for the mother and son I’ve never met. Pray and hope :Time Heals.
- Reply lyrebird06
- Keep silence. no matter how living is still continuing. we must recover from the collapsed world.
- Reply rich
- i don't know what to say though i want to comfort you. not long ago my dad passed away, so i guess i know how you feel at this moment. my father was very healthy for his age and could think as clearly as anyone else when he was diagnosed with cancer.
i believe what your mom hoped for most is that you will move on courageously with your life.
- Reply 异物
- snowflying: so sorry to hear you say these. my friend. life is rich colourful indeed,incluging all kind of emotions. sometimes, to us,life is not beautiful, evenLet's wish.
- Reply 异物
- 2010jj: Sorry to hear that. I hope you should get over it, even though it's hard for you to do that. Actually, I don't know how to console you, just hope youI'll do my best.
- Reply 异物
- bluephoebe: How pale and powerless all the words seem to be at such a moment! “Life goes on.” “She is in a better place now.” “Sorry for your loss.” --- PeoTime heals? Let's hope so, or else I'm doomed..... T_T.
- Reply 异物
- lyrebird06: Keep silence. no matter how living is still continuing. we must recover from the collapsed world.What's done is done, who's gone is gone. The damages are irreversible. We're not going to recover anything from that, not even ourselves. The only reasonable thing we can do, is not to recover from it, but to bear the loss, accept the fact, and carry on.
