I've always suspected that I am a Schwaige. It sounds ridiculous I know, but I can assure you that I am not delusional or under any influence, and I'm not a self-obsessed douchebag neither. Anyhow, I had this funky suspicion. I can't explain. I can't tell. I didn't even know where it came from. This groundless yet relentless suspicion unsettled me down to the molecular level, and it drove me nuts every time it went through my mind. I knew I had to find some evidence to feed my suspicion, or it will never leave me. So I did. But to no avail, I came back empty-handed too many times than I care to count. I had to face the fact that although I was still intrinsically motivated to find the truth, I can't go any further, for my direction had already been lost. Just when everything seemed to push me toward the edge of desperation, I found this up in my attic:

Oh my! I completely forgot about this! I won this award almost one and a half decades ago. I was the Schwaigest Schwaige of all Schwaiges back then. I knew I was right, I just knew it. And now it's official, I am a Schwaige. 

Bite me!