In order to make a living , I had to get a job with a diploma. In order to get the diploma , I had to spend all my time working hard at the subjects some of which I was not really interested in and some of which I had great difficulty in and some of which are doomed to drop out of mind later. Recalling my process of receiving education , I wasn’t clever and I didn’t know how to find better ways to improve my study . Nor did I know to ask anybody for help . I just read the knowledge without thinking . I was really like the kite pulled by others . I lived like this until my twenties .

   In order to get promotion , I forced myself to write theses . In fact , I didn’t know how to do research or connect the theories with my working practice . I just patched the similar topics together .

   Now I don’t have to pursue anything . Others also stop at the same stage .

  I feel the happiness without any desire . I feel free for the first time in my life . I can do many things which I am happy to do .

  I don’t know if I have wasted too much of my life . I am not young again . And my son still works hard in the way I did before . Will he feel it is a waste of time to have spent so much time doing what he doesn’t want to do when he is as old as me ?

  Life has taken people’s imagination and romance by the throat . Life isn’t controlled by ourselves .

 How should I live ? Spare some time for myself ?  Keep a record of my life ? I hope I won’t regret again in ten years .