Once I loved a girl if it could be called love. I appreciated her very much and wanted to take care of her forever. I cherished every moment  we were together. I wanted to protected her from any hurts, and I was sure I had the courage to sacrifice myself to protect her. I even made a plan for our future and made more efforts to improve myself. It was a Platonic love and my first love. I never touched her even her finger before I ask her to be my girl friend maybe because I was too shy.  This touch was my first and last. It was the last day in school berfore the winter holiday that I declare my love to her. Her accept it but a several days later she phone me that she wish we could be best friends not lovers. This was just like a bolt from the bule, which I could accept. After she told me the reasons I accepted it like a gentleman. But the thuth was that this was not what I want to face with and I knew that the reasons she told me were just excuses. Maybe I was not her type.  I tried to persude myself to forget her but I couldn`t and I felt my heart was bleeding. To keep distance and be her friend  was too hard for me. she occupyed my mind every minute and I just couldn`t stop missing her. Sometimes I complained her brutality, sometimes I persuded myself to accept it thinking that maybe she did have her difficulties. Those days was my most miserable moment in my life. One day I drunk too much and quarreled with her.  And then we broke up. Maybe breaking up is miserable for most people. But I thanked it very much. Shorter pain is better than the longer one. Now I have no girl and I only love my family. She is fading away in my mind and I think there is no reason to wait for a person who don`t love you at all. When we meet occasionally,  we just pretened that we don`t  know each other at all. Sometimes I think maybe she never loved me. And the reason why she agreed to be my girlfriend was that she didn`t want to hurt me. So I doubt whether this could be called lovo or not. But one thing is ascertained. I should thank her because she make me more mature.