almost all my articles are negtive, maybe it is my tone.

when I am alone and clam down, some memories will dump into mind that torment me too much both phiscally and emotionally.Today, I want to say sorry here to ones I really care about.

sorry to my dear grandma who died 10 years ago, I still remember I sat on your lap, playing mahjong with you at my childhood, you always tell me that I should be a nice guy but not a kind-heart guy because I often be so honesty ,genuine and kind-heart that I would give the begger along the roadside money even when I know he or she is a lier.heh at present, however, I don't change too much. I am still genuine and always be too nice to others. I don't meet your required. except this, I would disappoint you in my studying if you were still alive.

sorry to my dear mother, who always support me and forgive me again and again. In this world, all the parents expect their children to be more successful. this is the truth and my mother is not exception. she gives me all her had to me and usually tell me what she want is just my happiness. nevertheless I know in fact she hope me to be a successful guy.but until now, have I no any achieve in any field. I betray my favorite subject to learn what I am learning at present, and I have no any courage to pursue my dreams. A picture that a child tells his mother he would change this unfair country, bringing the real happiness to all population in this country comes into my dream at times. but now, I can't change myself, how can I change the country.what a trash I am.

sorry to myself, I usually tell myself that I will prefer to live in my dream even all others live in reality because I can found my rule in my dream. I am the one who would escape from others' rules or make others play in my rules.but now, I can only follow others' rules and obey others' order. How changable I am. I have been so tired that I want to give up all the things and change to another lifestyle that doing simple things to afford my daily expense and moving to another city when I feel tired of one city. At the end, I may be tired of life, I would choose a little village to stay in and teach those poor children some useful knowledge like math or something expect my thought.