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Self-introspection
I feel a little puzzled or kind of guilty all of a sudden. Maybe it is necessary for me to have a self-introspection.I haven't written blogs for several days. Should I write every day or every few days? What should I write? These days I just browsed others' blogs, shared with their feelings and gave my comments. It seems that I also have something to write, but I can't catch a topic that I could write well. In my QQ'space, I have written something happy and memorable. Friends told me they liked my writings because I revealed my true feelings of my innerside. But I myself think my writing are extinguished by others' writings, which are full of literary grace. Despite this kind of thought, I still want to record the wonderful memories. Maybe years later, when I read my narration about youth, there will be a smile on my face.
Looking back on the past 22 years, I have never get great achievements. On the contrary, in the course of learning, it is not so smooth. Once I thought I was favored by God. Although I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, my family is a harmonious one. My parents are a happy couple, and I appreciate the love between them. They gave me tall, slim stature and fair skin. "Why the God is so unfair", said my friends. Actually, God is equall to everyone. I am simple-minded, and I am not sure it is a bad thing or not. Not only my friends but also I myself think I am too kind-hearted. When someone turns to me for help, I never turn down their asks, without thinking whether it is meaningful or not. One of my friends advised me to learn to refuse. Having experienced some understandings, I take her advice.
I was timid, and never dare to raise up my hands to answer the teachers'questions. I was introverted, and often became ablush when I talked with strangers or boys. I was indecisive, and didn't have my own mind. I was diffident, and thought I was inferior to others. Fortunately, I changed a lot and I like the present me. But I know I am not excellent enough and I do have to improve those unsatisfyings.
I still appreciate God for bringing so many angels to change me. As mentioned earlier, I met some obstacles in the course of learning. The entrance examination for middle school, I failed and wasn't admitted by the No.1 Middle School. Failure disappointed me again in the first college entrance examination with several points. I couldnot take this defeat lying down, making a decision to prepare the next year and take another examination. Well, it is my fate. I just went to an unknown collge. I studied hard, but the method of learning my be not so good. And I thought the basic reason was related with my intoverted character. Considering I should get futher education in a much better university, I attended the postgraduate entrance examination. I didn't focus on the preparation for the exam when it came to December 2010, because I decided to find a job togethe with my boyfriend in Guangdong Province. I couldn't imagine how can our relationship go on if I was admitted to that university. Maybe someone will say,"You are so silly". Anyway, I attended the examination. The high points surprised me, and I still remembered I cried,"What's the meaning of God, why did he have such arrangement?" Now, I can write it calmly, God knows how worried I was 2 months ago.
Up to now, there are three turning points in my life: the entrance examination for middle school, two college entrance examinations, the postgraduate entrance examination. It goes as "When God closes your door, he will open a window for you." Although I was not in the NO.1 Middle School, I met many bosom friends in senior high school, who are friends that can share sorrow and happiness. They helped a lot in the transition of my character. Although I was not in a key university, I met my boyfriend in Xiangnan University and began my first love. He plays a great role in changing my character, my life. Yes, I still appreciate God, they are really angels.
Looking back on the past 22 years, I have never get great achievements. On the contrary, in the course of learning, it is not so smooth. Once I thought I was favored by God. Although I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, my family is a harmonious one. My parents are a happy couple, and I appreciate the love between them. They gave me tall, slim stature and fair skin. "Why the God is so unfair", said my friends. Actually, God is equall to everyone. I am simple-minded, and I am not sure it is a bad thing or not. Not only my friends but also I myself think I am too kind-hearted. When someone turns to me for help, I never turn down their asks, without thinking whether it is meaningful or not. One of my friends advised me to learn to refuse. Having experienced some understandings, I take her advice.
I was timid, and never dare to raise up my hands to answer the teachers'questions. I was introverted, and often became ablush when I talked with strangers or boys. I was indecisive, and didn't have my own mind. I was diffident, and thought I was inferior to others. Fortunately, I changed a lot and I like the present me. But I know I am not excellent enough and I do have to improve those unsatisfyings.
I still appreciate God for bringing so many angels to change me. As mentioned earlier, I met some obstacles in the course of learning. The entrance examination for middle school, I failed and wasn't admitted by the No.1 Middle School. Failure disappointed me again in the first college entrance examination with several points. I couldnot take this defeat lying down, making a decision to prepare the next year and take another examination. Well, it is my fate. I just went to an unknown collge. I studied hard, but the method of learning my be not so good. And I thought the basic reason was related with my intoverted character. Considering I should get futher education in a much better university, I attended the postgraduate entrance examination. I didn't focus on the preparation for the exam when it came to December 2010, because I decided to find a job togethe with my boyfriend in Guangdong Province. I couldn't imagine how can our relationship go on if I was admitted to that university. Maybe someone will say,"You are so silly". Anyway, I attended the examination. The high points surprised me, and I still remembered I cried,"What's the meaning of God, why did he have such arrangement?" Now, I can write it calmly, God knows how worried I was 2 months ago.
Up to now, there are three turning points in my life: the entrance examination for middle school, two college entrance examinations, the postgraduate entrance examination. It goes as "When God closes your door, he will open a window for you." Although I was not in the NO.1 Middle School, I met many bosom friends in senior high school, who are friends that can share sorrow and happiness. They helped a lot in the transition of my character. Although I was not in a key university, I met my boyfriend in Xiangnan University and began my first love. He plays a great role in changing my character, my life. Yes, I still appreciate God, they are really angels.
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Post comment Comment (21 replies)
- Reply rich
- i don't think being kind and introverted should be viewed as bad character of a person. we all different, with our own strengths. i can see that your life has not been very smooth. however, as you said God is equal to everyone. we just can't have everything we wish to have. good things often come when you least expect. longing for something too much would cause anxiety.
it also involves one's self-image. a negative self-image could influence the way we act, the way we think and the way we look at this world. i believe to build one's self-image is the first step to success. i don't think i know you very well, but i can see you are an exceptionally good girl: kind quiet ladylike sensible, and have your own thinking. determined also, otherwise you would not be able to wriite so well in english.
- Reply Xiaolong
- Very good for you having a thankful heart.
Do your best, God will do the rest. Always!
- Reply Sheena1208
- rich: i don't think being kind and introverted should be viewed as bad character of a person. we all different, with our own strengths. i can see that yourMaybe I use the wrong word. Acutually now I am still introverted, not that outgoing. But I do believe it is called "infantile autism" when I was in junior school. I didn't want to communicate with others, with a inferiority complex. I think "introverted" is a derogatory word. Everyone is unique, imaging if everyone is of the same personality, what a humdrum world it will be.
Seems that my life was not smooth, but I do love my life. I encouraged myself when I encountered difficulties and said to myself, you should be optmistic. Not that smooth, but never have great storms, maybe it's my luck. Heihei
- Reply Sheena1208
- Xiaolong: Very good for you having a thankful heart.A thankful heart can help you live your life to the fullest.
Do your best, God will do the rest. Always!
I will try my best to achieve my goal. Thank you for your encouragement.
- Reply Sheena1208
- rich: i don't think being kind and introverted should be viewed as bad character of a person. we all different, with our own strengths. i can see that yourAs you mentioned,"Good things often come when you least expect. Long for something too much would cause anxiety", I totally agree with what you said. We should take is as it comes and I believe that everything that happens is predestined. One cannot have all the good things in the world. God is indeed fair.
- Reply yaping
- Hi,friend, I browsed others' blogs recently,too! I don't know what to say, we have a lot in common,in the past 22 years, I have never get great achievements yet,sometimes I feel very confused. It said that god only look after who are ready for it, but it seems that I don't prepared for everything at all. What's more, more often gold is unfair. Whatsoever we still need to stick to keep learning everyday~
,
- Reply Sheena1208
- yaping: Hi,friend, I browsed others' blogs recently,too! I don't know what to say, we have a lot in common,in the past 22 years, I have never get great achievHeihei, so we are of the same age and have the same confusion. I am always optimistic towards difficulties, kind of Ah Q spirit. Opportunity favors only the prepared mind. Be sure we are ready when the opportunity knocks at our doors. Come on~~
- Reply rich
- Sheena1208: Maybe I use the wrong word. Acutually now I am still introverted, not that outgoing. But I do believe it is called "infantile autism" when Ii admire you for your outlook, being grateful and content. i suppose we all need to be. i'm glad you have kind of transformed yourself, overcoming a mental obstacle, which is not easy. i think of a story which goes like this: 2 persons were allowed to drink water from a glass, but only half of it. when asked how much he drank from the glass, one, who was optimistic, answered i drank as much as half of it while the other, who was pessimistic, replied sadly only half of it. you may have heard of it. faced with the same situation, different people will have so different an opinion. so to some extent, everything depends on how you look at things. or rather, our attitudes towards ourselves and the outside world. one's inner mindset plays a vital role in it. if we step back and focus on the great things we can do, we are sure to build up a positive self-image, which is extremely important. have a sweet dream, my friend!
- Reply yaping
- Sheena1208: Heihei, so we are of the same age and have the same confusion. I am always optimistic towards difficulties, kind of Ah Q spirit. Opportunity favors onEm. come on honey! hehes
- Reply Sheena1208
- rich: i admire you for your outlook, being grateful and content. i suppose we all need to be. i'm glad you have kind of transformed yourself, overcoming a mDefinitely I agree with what you said. A friend joked me my earlier years were gloomy, but I still appreciate these days. Without those monotonous life, how can I realize the colourful life I lead now. The same reason that only experienced failure can we reliaze the joy of success. Seems that successful men are genreally optmistic and strong-willed, which are indeed very important to those who desire to succeed.
By the way, I mentioned in my blog "I took my friends' advice", meaning sometimes I should turn down some reasonable requests, because someone take all of your kind as granted. I am still glad to helo others, heihei. The other day, some classmates who work in other cities ask me to correct their graduation thesis, and I accepted. Nearly 8 people's graduation thesis in my computer now. " A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers", I will keep this personality. Heihei.
I admire you from the bottom of my heart for being a good son, a good father, a good husband and a good learner. Are you still a teacher now?
- Reply scale
- You are a good girl. I don't know how to say my feeling. You see, so many friends to support you. I confuse every day, I don't have any achievements, and I am a very mediocre person.
- Reply Sheena1208
- scale: You are a good girl. I don't know how to say my feeling. You see, so many friends to support you. I confuse every day, I don't have any achievements,Be confident. You can do those others do, and you can achieve what you want as long as you are brave enough to have a try. I am OK, heihei. Thanks for your enrouagement.
- Reply rich
- Sheena1208: Definitely I agree with what you said. A friend joked me my earlier years were gloomy, but I still appreciate these days. Without those monotonous lifyes i am. and we will be free in just 2 weeks. it gives me terrific feeling---sooo nice when thinking one can be free at last after so many days of hard work. i'll keep my fingers crossed for my students, believing all the efforts will eventually pay off.
i like the sentence you quoted: " A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers." it's so beautiful, not only the act of kindness but the language as well. so pleasant to both my senses of smell and sight. somehow to me, it's just like a picture. i was amazed how the words can be used so wonderfully. no wonder some people say there's just no limit to one's creative thinking ability.
- Reply Sheena1208
- rich: yes i am. and we will be free in just 2 weeks. it gives me terrific feeling---sooo nice when thinking one can be free at last after so many days of haWow, your students are so lucky. Having a teacher like you can benefit them a lot, I guess. For some time, I was wondering how to be a good teacher, since many teachers I met are not capable of being a qualified teacher. Some are knowledgeble but irresponsible, some conscientious but limited in knowledge, so seems to be a good teacher is really difficult. A friend and I discussed about this knotty problem and she alleged that she wanted to rescue China's education. A great plan. I do believe a teacher like you is a prominent teacher.
- Reply rich
- Sheena1208: Wow, your students are so lucky. Having a teacher like you can benefit them a lot, I guess. For some time, I was wondering how to be a good teacher, si'm so flattered. thank you! sometimes i have an urege to hide my profession, for i just want to be a nobody meeting friends online. being on an equal footing would help create a free atmosphere for expressing ideas.
actually i'm just a common person like anyone you see on the street. however, i try to be a good one, both qualified and liked by students. yes you are right being a teacher is hard, let alone to be a good one. it's a demanding job and everyday can be a challenge. but every coin has two sides. teaching can be fun, like learning, and should be fun. once the friendship and mutual understanding is established, working towards the same goal can be exciting and even entertaining.
- Reply kevin--tan
- get something with lose many.
value the stuffs hold in your hand.
- Reply Sheena1208
- kevin--tan: get something with lose many.Definitely right. Life has its ups and downs. You will never fully apprecitate the ups unless you have some downs. All we have experienced is our wealth.
value the stuffs hold in your hand.
- Reply redapple2
- Well, after reading your blog, I consider we have so many same experiences. Yes, same things happened on me. But as you said, God is fair to everyone of us. For all the time, we have to be sunshine girls and perceive life with hopes and passions. Congratulation for your passing the Graduate Exam!
- Reply louislaolu
- You are already my heroine! Look at me! I havn't written anything for quite a few days. I can come up with a lot of excueses, but I know the real reason is inertia. Believe it or not, you are doing well.
- Reply Sheena1208
- redapple2: Well, after reading your blog, I consider we have so many same experiences. Yes, same things happened on me. But as you said, God is fair to everyoneI guess it indeed needs patience to read over so long blog. Thanks for your support. The harder we study/work, the luckier we will be. I'm so glad you are also such optimistic girl, and all my best wishes to you. Someday, you will enjoy the happiness you gain after many efforts.
