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my english teacher assigned homework that a english composition named "mobil phone".he wants us describle the mobil phone's disadvantage and advantages,also share our idea in the last.according to such requirement,i finished the composition wrinted as following.
mobile phone
with the development of technology and crisis,there is a growing worldwide awarness of the need for mobil phone,which palys a greatly important role even in students' daily life.it is so obvious to see somebody talking by mobile phone.
due to such an useful invention on the one hand,it seems everybody gets closer,for we are able to chat with our friends wherever and whenever we are.on the other hand,this kind of fashionable advanced product make her/him pround.last but not the least,it is conveniently indeed for us get information and be helpful to our learning.
mobile phone
with the development of technology and crisis,there is a growing worldwide awarness of the need for mobil phone,which palys a greatly important role even in students' daily life.it is so obvious to see somebody talking by mobile phone.
due to such an useful invention on the one hand,it seems everybody gets closer,for we are able to chat with our friends wherever and whenever we are.on the other hand,this kind of fashionable advanced product make her/him pround.last but not the least,it is conveniently indeed for us get information and be helpful to our learning.
Sadly,things always go contrary to one's wishes.maybe you have been used to notice that countless uncivized behavoiurs exist in our daily lives.does it have somebody talking loudly in class,cheating in the exam and so on.what's worse,many students are addicated in paly mobil phone in class time,which make me feel lamentable.
in fact,it is necessary for us students obey some rules when using cell phone.we are supposed to use cell phone as little as possible in private quiet palce. If a mobile phone ring in the class， the teacher and students would be disturbed... we should turn them off when we are attending important meetings or attending classes.totally speaking,i think we should use cell phone reasonably.
in fact,it is necessary for us students obey some rules when using cell phone.we are supposed to use cell phone as little as possible in private quiet palce. If a mobile phone ring in the class， the teacher and students would be disturbed... we should turn them off when we are attending important meetings or attending classes.totally speaking,i think we should use cell phone reasonably.
Post comment Comment (20 replies)
- Reply liuli
- Nowaday,cell phone is popular with people,especially the youngs.you can see even a little guy can own a phone.Of course,the cell phone's funtions are more and more,such as chat online,play game,search the internet,listening music.....but some can use it for study,some just play it for fun.
- Reply pocanda
- the problem is not about whether it should exist or not ,but a about how you use it .in a proper way ,there's all good .
- Reply shirleyytt2010
- We can not live without mobile phone in the mordern time.
- Reply mei2011
- The composition of the Mobile Phone is really a good title , since nearly everyone use the mobile phone in their daily life also the mobile phone in some degree have take the place of the clock....I think in some degree what you have written are really the facts in our life..
- Reply possible
- liuli: Nowaday,cell phone is popular with people,especially the youngs.you can see even a little guy can own a phone.Of course,the cell phone's funtions arerep.some can use it for study,some just play it for fun.
but in my eyes.in spite of using it chating with others,my friends just have fun by cell phone~
- Reply possible
- mei2011: The composition of the Mobile Phone is really a good title , since nearly everyone use the mobile phone in their daily life also the mobile phone inhah.thanks for your commemts....of course what i writed was in some extent similiar to our life,for my composition was based on life~
- Reply silvia2011
- Your composition reminds me of the test I took the other day. You've done a good job listing the reasons why we should use phones responsibly or reasonably.
- Reply possible
- shirleyytt2010: We can not live without mobile phone in the mordern time. surely it is~
- Reply possible
- pocanda: the problem is not about whether it should exist or not ,but a about how you use it .in a proper way ,there's all good .right，just like a two-edged sword,it all by how we use ~
- Reply possible
- silvia2011: Your composition reminds me of the test I took the other day. You've done a good job listing the reasons why we should use phones responsibly or reasohahhah...i know such title composition is very populared in test of english~ glad to see my composition remined your past~
- Reply silvia2011
- possible: hahhah...i know such title composition is very populared in test of english~Yeah, it really is. But I was failed to organise my essay well, it's kind of unpleasant memory. glad to see my composition remined your past~
- Reply possible
- silvia2011: Yeah, it really is. But I was failed to organise my essay well, it's kind of unpleasant memory.
- Reply snowflying
- my exam has also a english composition, so came here to practice. as my viewing, your composition can get a high score, but i'm not the teacher,heheee
- Reply possible
- snowflying: my exam has also a english composition, so came here to practice. as my viewing, your composition can get a high score, but i'm not the teacher,heheee i can got a high score?wow~maybe ~
- Reply starrhia
- Have you already turned in your composition? There are some changes that I would suggest that you make first. I can see your direction in your essay but you need to get better at organizing and elaborating on your thoughts. I will correct any spelling automatically, any other suggestions I will place in parentheses. ()
"With the development of technology and crises (such as ... ?) there is a growing awareness of the need for mobile phones, which plays an integral role in the lives of many types of people such as students. It is very simple to pick out someone talking on a mobile phone." (This paragraph needs better cohesiveness. You seem to be jumping all over the place with your thoughts.)
"Due to such an useful invention, on the one hand, it seems everybody gets closer for we are able to chat with our friends wherever and whenever we like. On the other hand, this kind of fashionable advanced product make her/him proud. (Why? Also, don't use "we" and "us" when you're discussing something good and "him" and her" when you're discussing something bad. It alienates people.) Last but not the least, it is convenient indeed for us to obtain information and is useful as a learning tool."(Examples? A personal story maybe from how you used a cell phone as a learning tool?)
"Sadly, things often (always is just so downbeat) go contrary to one's wishes. Maybe you notice that countless uncivilized behavoiurs exist in our daily lives. Does it have somebody talking loudly in class, cheating on an exam and so on? What's worse, many students are addicted to play with their mobile phones during class time, an action I believe is lamentable." (The style needs some work with this section.)
"It is necessary for us students obey the rules when using cell phones. We should be restricted in cell phone use in a quiet, private place. If a mobile phone rings in class， the lesson is disturbed. Out of respect for our teacher and fellows, we should turn them off when we are attending important meetings or attending classes. In conclusion, I think cell phones should be used within reason." (Out of all the paragraphs, this is the best one. It's concise, you explore a problem, then you suggest a way that it can be handled. Not perfect, but better.)
I think that's everything! If you have any questions about my phrasing, please let me know.
- Reply mei2011
- possible: hah.thanks for your commemts....of course what i writed was in some extent similiar to our life,for my composition was based on life~
Yeah, All feelings come from the life...
- Reply possible
- starrhia: Have you already turned in your composition? There are some changes that I would suggest that you make first. I can see your direction in your essay bwow.i really was scared by sucn a long commment when i suddendly catch sight of webpage..first of all..thanks for you kindly suggestion..in fact,i desire to improve my english,so you know,it is very useful that there is somebody come up with his addvise to my blog..i had carefully thought about your advise.you are so warm-hearted..by the way,any mistakes or ssuggestion to wards my blogs,welcome to point it out ...it is my pleasure~thanks again~
- Reply starrhia
- possible: wow.i really was scared by sucn a long commment when i suddendly catch sight of webpage..first of all..thanks for you kindly suggestion..in fact,i desI don't know about fixing everything but if you ever post something of this caliber, where you describe an English composition that you had to write, post it up here a little early and I'll try and stop by in time to give you my suggestions!
