I happened to found that today is my lunar birthday. It's my first birthday without her. I have to say time flies, especially when you are living meanless. It has been more than half year since I lost her.

Basically I'm not a person with much passion, so I don't quite care about my birthday. What do i expect on the special day? just a smile, a warm sentence from family. but this year, I guess I would got nothing. Dad is not so careful, and also doesn't have the habit to remember these days. Foret it. It's really pain whem thinking she was similing at me, making birthday dinner for me. Every year she was so sleepy, but still stay up, call me or text me at 0:00, in order to be the first person to say "happy birthday " to me ..

Each time when I was listening to my friends and colleagues talking about their moms, I'm crazy jealous. I will do anything to make her back. but wish is just wish. All I can do is just pray,  wish her everything's fine, whether she is alive or not..