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Weekend
As recently we both have been clarifying our affective relationship, I felt under blue in that period for considering too much and how to make a decision. When he was in business trip, he promised me to confess everything to me after returning and hoped me give him another chance to love me again. He admited his mistake without dealing with the issue properlly, but couldn't deny his real heart. Because of instantaneous sadness and angry, I refused repeatedly in order not to meet him again. Actually I knew he quite loved me from detailed caring and respect to me in daily life. It was me who couldn't accept cheat that activated full unsatisfaction to him. However, after calming dowm, I deemed silence and quarrelling couldn't slove the problem and everthing needed to be handled rationally. That's the reason why I gave him the chance to meet on the day of picking up my classmate. Maybe love still exists between us, hereby it was hard to end as I imagined before.
During last whole week, He tried his best to accompany me more besides work to comfort me and take care of me to cheer me up. He sweared that he never betrayed me from inner heart, but caused the problem by his way of conduct. Although seemed subtle for me, I had no right to require perfectness of somebody. I am not cold-hearted person, therefore I seldom take rude manner to people surrounding me. Concerning our almost one and half year's affection, it was not my hope to become enemy because of this incident even if finally loving relation would be over.
He was a sensitive person towards date. He clearly remembered all the important dates with me such as my bithday, our first dating, Chinese and Western valentine's day, days when we experienced meaningful things, the moments related to me even my physiological periods. In contrast, I wasn't such a details-caring person. Sometimes I had idea of the event, but blur memory about the date. Last Friday, it was Single's Day on 2011.11.11, which was happened once a hundred year. Honestly, I didn't pay attention to it, but he regarded it as meaningful. As I expressed break-up with him initially and he couldn't thoroughly let me go for his deep love, he expected me to forgive him and better love me in the future. Then he hoped to spend this special day with me without being single any more. After work on Friday, he drove to my office to pick me up and then headed towards the well-prepared and pre-reserved dinner resturant. He brought a piece of rose, which made me recall our first dating. Quite similar secne, but different feelings. During dinner, we both drank a little bit red wine to warmth the atmosphere, actually all from his idea. Sometimes I unwittingly mentioned the sad topic, he even took no notice about the relationship with the girl, but said he only cared me. From his words and actions, I understood his true love, oppositely from this incident, I felt contradictory and doubtful maybe I was lack of trust to him and he loved me more than I loved him. We both confessed a lot. Suddenly at late night he recived a phone call from a female without second thought, I regarded it from the girl. After this issue, I really became so sentitive to his relationship with her even if I was not a mean girl. He said it was not from her, but another female friend. He was afraid of my sensitivity. Then I told him I was selfish towards love because of principles. For making friends, it was reasonable. We communicated and shared a lot. Eventually felt more transparent.
The next day, after dinner he drove to my home to pick me up. We spent a while in the park. That night, I really felt his sincerity and love to me. We chated a lot from individual experiences in the past, work, future plans, life goals and also personal perspective towards affections. He is 6 years older than me and have full experiences. I expressed my unhappiness and future dreams. He just listened to me and gave me honest advice. He said he was also very painful to see my sadness. In fact, during the time we spent together, he never released his bad temper to me. He hoped me happy, but because of different factors I felt not so peaceful. I had pressure from family not bacause my parents gave burden to me, but I thought of paying for him with my capacity. Besides, I had pressure from career as I had my dreams in my heart, but the path was not directedly as I thought. Last but not least, from future personal issue. I considered the personal characters, family background and economic situation. All the pressures stopped me feeling totally self-content. He analyzed different aspects in a comprehensive way from his experience. From that time, I realized that I really had to give up some ideas to make more happier. Negative pressures was the block rather than catalyst.
For me, I spent a meaningful weekend because I learnt the theory of how to become more happiner. I appreciate him.
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Post comment Comment (22 replies)
- Reply rich
- from your account, he seems to be a thoughtful person. however, i don't get it what your problems were in the relationship, besides the age difference. was it the other girl? i don't want to snoop; i just had that feeling. anyway i wish you guys happy!
- Reply snowflying
- dear Jessico, glad to see your this blog to share with us about your crossroad in your emotions relasionship with the lucky guy. sometimes love path is not so smooth indeed. glad to see you finally made your final choice in your love way. God bless only a false alarm,dear,i'm glad to hear your recent situations,you have cheered up,now i believe. if you love him, you must trust him fully ,right? dear.
- Reply S_Xlove
- I am so moved that what he did for you .he remembers all the important dates related to you ,he takes care of you carefully ,he gives you guidness to your life with his rich experience and so on ,all of this are enough to say that he is really love you .I feel sorry to you Jessico ,I have given you a wrong suggestion . affections between two people is really treasured .don't let it gone easily .and cherish every moments you with him .
you are really a wise ,gentle and kind-hearted person. you can hold your life by your own .and make proper decisions .you clearly know your affections and what you want .Smart and reason.
really wishes you two happinese forever !
- Reply S_Xlove
- Dear Jessico ,hope you can forgive me with my one-sided suggestion at last time.
and I am really happy for you that you make your rational final decision.
all best wish to you !
- Reply Haiena
- Will there be anyone who would love you truly more than him? I don't think so. He is basically an honest person. The mistake he made is not serious because there is no evidence of a serious relationship between him and her. Everybody makes mistakes especially in our married life. Forgive him and yourself.
- Reply samscri
- Are you sure that he cheated you? There is always a fact about man that if they cheat before marriage, they always cheat ahter that...If you're sure about the cheating, then you'd better think about what if it happens again...in the future...Would you forgive him then or just broke with him...Coz when things mention to child, which you would have in the future, then things would be much much more complicated...
- Reply Jessico
- 如主文: Just so sweet, hope you're together and happy foreverThank you. Love is the treasure, but need to find the right person to love
- Reply Jessico
- rich: from your account, he seems to be a thoughtful person. however, i don't get it what your problems were in the relationship, besides the age differenceYou may get the idea from my previous blogs, hehe. Ya, a little bit complicated affection issue. I just express out my feeling in writing form, but not hope to bring trouble to friends.
- Reply Jessico
- snowflying: dear Jessico, glad to see your this blog to share with us about your crossroad in your emotions relasionship with the lucky guy. sometimes love path iDear Snow. I feel better now not just because of totally ending the issue and accepting him as my future husband, but my own consciousness of life value. I should treat myself well to lead a happy life. I should be more charming to feel more sufficient in spirit. I appreciate him in hope of decreasing my sadness to embrace one person. Time will prove everything and result won't be got just from one communication. I need to be rational and happy.
- Reply Jessico
- S_Xlove: I am so moved that what he did for you .he remembers all the important dates related to you ,he takes care of you carefully ,he gives you guidness toDear friend. I really do appreciate your suggestions. Actually initially I was so hesitate to write such sad blogs because I didn't want to bring unhappiness to friends. While you are a honest listener, I felt so glad and lucky, and more comfortable now to express out all of my thoughts in real situation.
- Reply Jessico
- S_Xlove: Dear Jessico ,hope you can forgive me with my one-sided suggestion at last time.Never say that, dear friend. I enjoy sharing and listening.
and I am really happy for you that you make your rational final deci
- Reply Jessico
- Tange: love and to be loved ..... best wishes ...Thanks, friend. Love is more important and precious. It's no doubt that we won't lead our whole life with whom we don't love, which becomes unmeaningful
- Reply Jessico
- Haiena: Will there be anyone who would love you truly more than him? I don't think so. He is basically an honest person. The mistake he made is not serious bDear, friend. Thanks for your honest analysis. Truely he is a kind-hearted person not only towards me but others in need. I could see from his actions. From my side, maybe I have many standards and not fixed answer towards him. That's why when I found some problems, a little bit hard to accept. Love is whole to him, while just half to me. I am so rational in this respect and consider a lot from the person, his family, his friends circle, his background and so on.
- Reply Jessico
- samscri: Are you sure that he cheated you? There is always a fact about man that if they cheat before marriage, they always cheat ahter that...If you're sure aCurrently I couldn't totally ensure this cheat whether positive or negative. But it has happened already. Right now I understand his true heart, but hard to totally trust him. I still need time to test everything. Thanks friend
- Reply Haiena
- Jessico: Dear, friend. Thanks for your honest analysis. Truely he is a kind-hearted person not only towards me but others in need. I could see from his actionsSeems you have your rightful standards and expectations for love and faithfullness. That is understandable. Hope you would be able to overcome this difficult situation.
- Reply Jessico
- lchh: The true love will show up in front of you miraculously after conjuring all backwards.Hope to. Thank you.
- Reply bluephoebe
- Dear J, the future with him is still unclear, but i really wish you good luck here. and i am happy that you don't rush into any decision yet. Like you said Time would prove anything. I totally understand your feelings because i have the similar experiences. here i'd like to tell you something personal, for your reference. a few months after i got married, i caught my husband text some intimate message with another girl. betral, denial, deeply hurted, felt like the whole world crushing down---i had all gone through. he confessed--it's just messing around, a flirt thing, he never took it seriously. but i found i could not trust him any more. honestly, if we haven't got married, i might choose a clear breakup. but divorce required a lot courage, so i chickened out. for almost half a year we all live under the shadow of this event. until one day i found i had become so cynical, i had become someone i hate. i realized i couldn't live this way. if i didn't let it go i would eventually let it ruin my whole life---not only my marriage, but also my capality to love to trust to move on. so i made adjustments and sent the past ghost rest. that's my story. no matter what your decision is, don't let it get to you. but from your blog, i knew you are smarter, you would survive this and have a very bright future.
