Before I start to talk about romance, could I ask you to do me a favor? I want you to close your eyes and think about the most romantic thing you’ve ever done, and then try to assign it to a specific category. Try to ask yourself some questions like was it a surprise? Or was it just something trivial. Was it something special or quite common? Then imagine a picture of your ideal romantic scene.

Ok then open your eyes. I’m sure all of you have got an idea yourself about the meaning of romance. What I intend to say is that romance is a very abstract and subjective thing. It’s not the same for everyone, and it can not be learnt from a textbook. People feel and express their sense of romance in terms of their personalities and backgrounds. Some people think sending flowers is a very romantic act while some consider it’s just conventional. But whoever or wherever you are, the core issue is that romance definitely needs to be felt by your heart. Since it’s hard to define, I would like to tell my own understanding about the essence of romance. Basically I think there are several ways to demonstrate romance, and those romantic acts explain the meaning of romance in the best way.

Firstly romance is just trivia. Here I will say that romance is a kind of human emotion which has a lot to do with caring and loving in a relationship. The touching trivia actually reveals how romantic the person can be. When you get up, you will find a little lovely message left next to  the bed. When you have this stomach ache, you will always find your medicine at that little corner shelf as if it’s never been used up. After a big fight, you raise your head and that new light reminded you how your lover came and fixed it during a rainy night. Sometimes, the thing that affects us is not a big drama but just as trivial as worms biting our bones. As the famous song goes: the most romantic thing I could ever imagined is to grow older with you, collecting the happiness on the way, bit  by bit, and leisurely reminiscing about them together sitting on rocking chairs.

Secondly saying sweet words also displays romantic meaning to some extent. That works well especially for girls, since most Chinese guys are considered to be awkward in expressing their affections. Anyway it’s pleasant to know how important they are, and how much they care about each other.

Thirdly we shall fully make use of our imagination or anticipation. That in some way does help couples to enhance their relationship. There is a classical scene in lots of movies, a poor couple staying in a cozy little room, thinking about the future beautiful life they would have. The mutual plan between couples will more or less encourage them, and tie them together. It’s good for their relationship and their life.

And the last category, which we absolutely can’t neglect, is surprising each other every now and then. Anyone will feel happy when they get just the right thing from their lover unexpectedly. But there is one thing we need to consider - the money. If someone thinks, say, taking a walk along the beach and the guy blows a whistle, and then suddenly a luxurious pleasure boat appears. This doesn’t seem like such a romantic surprise.   It’s too shallow. I think sometimes romantic acts don’t need money.  The old saying: money isn’t everything is particularly fitting here. If I had no money, I would walk with my lover in the mountains along a little river, hearing the songs of nature. If I had one RMB, I would call him and tell how much I’m missing him at such a cold and cheerless night in a small telephone box so that I can make the voice of happiness have no distance between us. If I had 10RMB, I would buy ice cream for him to cool him down on a hot summer day. If I had 100RMB, I would get some nice food to warm his hands in chilly winter wind. If I had 1000 RMB, I would accompany him to buy an exquisite model boat and watch him build it and deliver him a mint cake at the very moment he’s done. If I got 10000 RMB, I would love to take a little trip with him and we’ll come back with the best memories ever.

In my opinion, romance can be expressed in different ways at different times. Whether you can feel it depends on yourself. When you use your heart to read the thing your lover has done for you, you’ll realize how romantic it is.

Melissa, going through old essays that still favours this one^     ^