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Causerie

1333 views. 2011-10-17 21:15

When the Sun collect her last light,

When the Smoke from kitchen chimney curling to the sky,

When the birds coming back to the nest pairs by pairs,

All you can see is silence.

Upon the hill, you just appreciate the broard chest of them,

Only the chilly wind remind me of being exist.

Everythins is tranquill, just like my mood.

Water among the mountains, flowing.

The flower of water blosom ragely.

The whole world is belong me.

The very big smile on my face secretly.

Reply bluephoebe 2011-10-18 09:01: beautiful, through your words, i could almost see that peaceful world.

Reply lijuanandrea 2011-10-18 09:33: only people who have a peaceful mind can feel the tranquility of the world

Reply lovingfun 2011-10-18 11:36: 异物: Poetic!
Thank you. Honestly speaking, I am trying to learn to write poem, but I am just a beginner.

Reply lovingfun 2011-10-18 11:37: bluephoebe: beautiful, through your words, i could almost see that peaceful world.
Recgnize or not, I think in the bottom of our heart, we long for peace and silence.

Reply lovingfun 2011-10-18 11:38: lijuanandrea: only people who have a peaceful mind can feel the tranquility of the world
I couln't agree more on that.

Reply snowflying 2011-10-18 18:47: oh, dear friend, yourself's english poem? great!

Reply lovingfun 2011-10-18 18:56: snowflying: oh, dear friend, yourself's english poem? great!
I am just a beginner. I like poem very much. But, I couln't write it . I am just trying.

Reply 异物 2011-10-23 01:16: Here is my revision:

   When the sun is collect(ing) her last light,
   When the smoke from kitchen chimney curling to the sky,
   When the birds coming back to the(ir) nest(s) pair by pair,
   All you can see is silence.
   Upon the hill(s), you just appreciate the broad chest of them,
   Only the chilly wind remind me of my own existence,
   Everything is tranquil, just like my mood.
   Water among the mountains, flowing.
   The flower of water blossoming ragely.
   The whole world is now mine.
   The very big smile crept up on my face.

It's such a beautiful piece, that I'd be more than pleased, if you could allow me to have a try on reinterpreting it.

Reply lovingfun 2011-10-25 09:57: 异物: Here is my revision:

   When the sun is collect(ing) her last light,
   When the smoke from kitchen chimney curling to the sky,
   Wh
Thanks for your version.It is much better than mine. Thanks a lot.

Reply This_K 2011-12-29 11:06: I remember a sentence that I once read in another story: Nothing can hear them but the winds.

Reply lovingfun 2012-1-10 07:59: This_K: I remember a sentence that I once read in another story: Nothing can hear them but the winds.
Yeah. It seemed that way. All you can hear not just wind, but the beam of your heart.