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Have you ever met these situations: Why am I so easily to be a victim to others' views? Why those people treat me in that way? Why they always interrupt my words? If so , then you might need assertiveness.
Assertiveness is a comprehensive actions of your mind and your body. It is the way that you conduct your deeds, your views, your feelings, confidently without infringe others' rights.
We are taught that we shouldn't consider over own interests over others' . If someone do something or say some word we don't like, we should keep silent, then we will leave them alone in the future. But nowdays, social communication is so tensively, we cannot keep slience now, instead, we should say what we think boldly , not just because the abilities of us needs, but for own sake.
If we don't behave assertively, we may:
1. Depression. Angry to others. Don't know how to do, cannot find how to live happily.
2.Coward. Don't dare to do anything in fear of making mistakes.
3.Confusion Why peole like treating me in that way? Why?
4.Resentment Be easily lose your temper, especially towards one who care us most.
How to conduct assertiveness efficiently?
1.Putting "I" in focus. We may say "I am wishing that my words without any interruption." instead of :"Why you always interrup me."
2.Using more facts that opinion. "There is a hole in your shirt." instead of "Are you sure that you wear it our, are you?"
3.Using assertive answer than others. "Would please......?" instead of "Would you mind......?"
It is true that conducting assertiveness is more easily towards strangers than ones you love. But if someone means more important than others, you need more assertiveness in order to gain more respect from them. In the other hand, if you conduct assertiveness, you should consider its result , though most time that deeds will give us posetive results, but others may think differently.
Anyway, we need more assertiveness for the sake of our interests, but a long way to go.
Post comment Comment (8 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- Well written and appears to be your own original composition. You have touched on an important element of communicating with others.
Yes, talking to others or speaking in public is indeed a challenge. People judge you by the way you speak and skill in choosing words. Some people like override or interrupt others just to show their own abilities. You can always counter such interruptions by your own assertiveness and confidence. Your self confidence can be effectively reflected in speaking skills. Keep it up.
P.S. There are some minor grammatical errors but doesn't matter. These errors would be eliminated as you read and write more. It is the int contents which counts more. Here is an example to give you an idea;
epression.
Angry to others. Don't know how to do, cannot find how to live happily.
Angry with others. Don't know the requirements of happy living.
Are you sure that you wear it our, are you?
Are you sure you want to wear it out? Do you?
- Reply freefu55
- I just have one questions to ask, where do our assertiveness come from? isn't it that we say we are so we are? Your writing is remarkable.
- Reply bluebird
- If we don't respect and love ourselves as an equal being, we can't truly respcet other persons.
- Reply lovingfun
- Thanks a lot, I will try my best.
sunnyv: Well written and appears to be your own original composition. You have touched on an important element of communicating with others.
Yes, talking to ...
- Reply lovingfun
- I guess mainly from our basic skills ,as well as our confidence.
freefu55: I just have one questions to ask, where do our assertiveness come from? isn't it that we say we are so we are? Your writing is remarkable.
- Reply lovingfun
- cannot agree more on that.
bluebird: If we don't respect and love ourselves as an equal being, we can't truly respcet other persons.
- Reply 沧海一粟
- Knowledge is power. In order to have confidence in ourselves, we need to empower ourselves through knowledge. Life-long learning is indispensable.c
