It was Christmas again. In Shenzhen, I didn’t have much to do with Christmas. Only during college days, I spent Christmas with friends happily. While in Wuhan, the Christmas was usually cold, sometimes there was snow to decorate it.

Yesterday, a friend of mine called me and I told her I was so depressed. She said to me, “how could you behave like this? Do you know how cool you used to be?” To be honest, I didn’t know. Then she giggled, “you sent me a Christmas card eight years ago, you put your photo between Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise, claiming to be cooler than Michael and handsomer than Tom.” I didn’t remember it and thought for a while, suddenly I remembered it. She kept my Christmas card carefully, but I only did that for fun without much thinking. I was really moved, but love was really a hard thing to say. She was still single and invited me to Zhuhai tomorrow and I hesitated. I didn’t dare and want to face her. Just thought of myself, I was the same as her. I kept a drawing and wanted to tear it many times, but didn’t have the determination. There were so many people like us, loved the one who didn’t love you, really a painful thing. You could move her, but it was hard to make her love you.

With the person you loved, even a bowl of instant noodles, you would feel so sweet about eating it together. With the person you didn’t love, even you lived in the palace with thousands of servants waiting on you, still you would feel lonely. What’s love? Really a complicated thing for you to make it clear.

It would be Christmas day tomorrow. I would go to Zhongshan to spend it with my friend, or else I would feel lonely while reading in my small room. The Christmas day without snow wasn’t so beautiful, only by looking at the crystal ball with snow inside in the shop window, I could feel the festival atmosphere of Christmas.

Though I was an adult now, I always liked to see the crystal ball with snow, small house, green trees, Santa Claus, deer in it. It would make me feel good.