There was nothing in the field. It was summer now, of course the sun was really hot. There was no reason for Atman to bathe in the horrible sunshine. He looked around and found a big tree nearby, so he decided to sit under its cool shadow.

    He owned nothing, had nothing to do and the only thing he had was time. He used to care about external things besides the body until one day he found it was very easy to lose them. From that day on, he decided to care about his body until one day he found there were so many handicapped men around the world and the body was very fragile and easy to break too. Hence he decided to care only about his mind and found it was the only strong thing, at least he thought so. If his mind were broken, then he would be dead, there was no need and also impossible to worry about it. Mind was the only thing in the world could be destroyed, but not defeated.

    His life was really simple in other people’s eyes, however, he still thought his life was too complicated. He often admired ant so much. It was such a small insect and could run around all day without showing weariness. He wondered where the ant’s energy came from and why he couldn’t be an ant. Ant had only one thought of seeking food every day without stopping. If he could think of only one thing every day without stopping, surely he would do the thing best all over the world. Every time he thought of this, there were always two words coming out-‘so what?’ Besides death, these two words was the second most powerful thing in the world.

    One can be rich enough to buy a country, so what? One can be pretty enough to make people all around the world crazy, so what? One can be powerful enough to destroy all other people in the world, so what? When you use these two words, all of them will seem to be in vain. Sometimes Atman thought of being a tall tree was really good, but tall tree was always the first target of storm. So Atman thought of being a small weed, small weed was always safe, but was always so lonely and totally ignored by others. Being a man without being cared by others was mournful. Atman had a neighbor who was an old woman and hated by all fellow villagers. She could live very well without talking with others for a single year. Atman admired her a little at first and wondered how her heart could be so strong to face all people around her coldly. One day, Atman understood that it was not because her heart was strong, just avarice filled her heart fully and left no place for other things. She only knew to grab profit from other people and that’s the purpose of her life. Atman thought she was as single-minded as ant, only she was greedy and bad.

    Atman was a young farmer now. Farmer was always at the bottom of society whether one admitted it or not. Though there was a saying ‘farmers don’t cultivate land, which will starve imperial army’, they had no choice, because cultivating land was their destiny, what else can they do besides that?

     Among all Atman’s classmates, Atman was probably the most miserable guy. Now he lived just like Zhuge Liang, sometimes cultivated field, sometimes read books, which was really an easygoing life. Using the words of one of his classmates in college, Atman probably was the worst graduate of Swallow University. Atman wasn’t angry at all and just laughed out of court.

     In 2010, one of Atman’s classmates Laic visited Atman. Actually he just wanted to have a trip to relax himself and found the little village of Atman wasn’t a bad place. Laic drove his limousine and brought his baby wife Neon to the Lemon village under the hot sun.

     When they came to Atman’s house, Atman received them with an unnatural smile. Originally, Atman thought he already had a heart liked a lake of still water and could resist anything outside, but the advent of Laic and his wife was just like a big stone breaking his inner peace.

     Neon was a very beautiful woman. Her hair just liked the thick dark clouds in the sky, lily-white skin was flawless. Especially her charming eyes could make people’s heart beat faster without any reason. Atman turned around and looked at his own wife, couldn’t help being disappointed. Withered and yellow hair, sallow skin, a rectangle-shaped figure, he knew he shouldn’t be disappointed, but he couldn’t conquer his feeling and cheat himself.

      Laic had his moment, all he could thought now was that every dog had its own day. During college days, they were roommates. Atman was tall, handsome and studied well, there were always girls coming to look for him. But laic himself was short, plain and girls weren’t even willing to talk with him. He was always jealous and hated the God’s unfairness.

     Laic was always lonely and had to bury his head in science. Because of his loneness, he hated social science for it was science about human, and he hated things about human. Bill Gates was rich, Tom Cruise was handsome, Laic wasn’t jealous at all, why? Just because those guys were out of his life and had no influence on him at all, but the guys around him were different. That’s just the difference between ideal and reality.

     Laic had great talent on natural science and made great progress during the four years. Now he was the CTO of a MNC Top and suddenly heard from other classmates that Atman was just a farmer. He never felt happier all his life.

  After a week, Laic had to leave and also praised that Atman’s wife was virtuous and could cook so well etc. Maybe Laic was truly hearted, but Atman felt sick just like swallowing a fly. Laic also gave Atman five thousand Yuan, but Atman refused it stubbornly.

     When the limousine went out of their eyesight, Atman’s wife Chry started to complain him without end. Chry said angrily, “they stayed here for a week; I have to cook dinner and wash clothes for them, why didn’t you receive the money?” Atman replied with a reluctant smile, “We’re roommates. How can I receive his money?” “You have no ability to earn money like him does, but still you want face. You’re classmates, look at the difference.” shouted Chry with a glum face and she never thought whether she was good enough to match a man like that.

     Atman didn’t say anything more. In the dark at night, he couldn’t sleep at all. Since his childhood, he loved history and literature so much, for so many years, what did history and literature bring for him? Nothing, though he was reluctant to admit it.

    A man without money and power was just like a eunuch without castration, sighed Atman, however, he never thought the history and literature of China for five thousand years was useless. Lying on the bed, he thought he was really useless and just living in vain. Atman lay in bed with eyes widely open, feeling suffocation under the darkness which was the same as death. He thought he wanted a peaceful and simple life, but the ambition fire in the deepest place of heart was ignited.

     From beginning to end, he thought natural science was only for artisan. He was disdainful to be a scientist, but he couldn’t be an official. It wasn’t a big deal. Jiang Ziya was eighty years old, however, he was still ambitious, and how could he be disappointed while only twenty-five years old? The still lake in his heart was broken and he decided to escape the life as boring as death.

     In the following day, when Chry woke up, she couldn’t find Atman. While she was trying to find him everywhere, Atman was already on the train to Deep. He hated his current life and decided to abandon all of them. He would rather die vigorously instead of dragging out an ignoble existence.

     When Atman came to the city Deep, he had no other acquaintances. Though he hated Laic, he had to seek help from him. When one was under eave, he had to lower his head.

     At Laic’s luxury office, Laic received Atman warmly, but used the excuse of wading pool wasn’t big enough to hold a dragon to refuse Atman. Atman knew Laic made progress after being CTO and even knew to say polite words to refuse people. Laic gave five thousand Yuan to Atman, Atman wanted to hit him, but he didn’t show even a tiny discontentment on his face, instead, Atman swallowed his dignity to receive the money with both hands and said with a smile like a flower in full bloom, “thank you! I know old dude as you are always real friend. That’s why I come to you directly as long as I come to Deep.”

     When Atman came out, he saw Laic’s wife Neon. Neon greeted him warmly, Atman was ashamed and only smiled, then left hurriedly. He felt the distance between that kind of graceful woman and himself was really too far.

     Spending a whole afternoon, finally he found a basement as his home. Sleeping on the floor, he cried his eyes out, but no one heard him for the sake of basement. “Now I’m twenty-five years old, still achieve nothing, even my own wife treats me as nothing. I’m really useless. Just like rubbish on the street.”

     Finally his tears were gone, Atman slept. When the east sky just showed white color of fishbelly, Atman got up and went out to find a job to support himself at first. No matter what the world changed, people had to eat at first.

      For the whole day, he ate nothing. One the way home, he bought two steamed buns as his supper. There was no bathroom, he had to use a plastic basin to wash himself in his little room. When he was about to go to sleep, he suddenly heard there was a guy playing guitar. Atman was so annoyed that he wanted to look for someone to have a fight.

     He knocked the door of opposite room and a thin young man opened the door. He smiled, “what can I do for you?” Atman was embarrassed to hit a man with smiling face. Finally he said, “Can I come in? So bored, have nothing but time to kill.” The young man said, “Great, me too.”

     Atman sat on the floor and said with a forced smile, “Living in a basement, do you think us can be yellow trash more?” The young man smiled with eyes just like two crescents, “Wah, dude, you’re really straight. I haven’t even introduced myself to you. My name is Four.”