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An Apology to Myself
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Even i have promised to myself that i should be brave and optimistic to accept the sufferrings that the life has thrown to me. But this time, i cried and what else... Sorry.
May be we are destined to miss something that are originally never belong to us. Today, a professor from Bond University delivered a speech for our English Major students and encouraged us to further our study in Australia. Honestly, i was really flipped at this chance for i am very qualified to apply for a scholarship. But i have an adequately clear understanding about the decision of my father---even with scholarship, my family still can hardly afford such huge cost. Although study abroad has been my dream all the time and the teacher recommended me many times, i clearly know what a dream means to me, even how close it besides me, i still do not have the courage to grasp it because it is the most extravagant dream in my world.
Sorry...for i do not deserve it. Many times when i came to myself and murmured that if one day i have the chance to get the postgraduate education abroad, i will cherish it and never give it up easily. But this time, what i can do is to...say apology to myself. Because even how hardworking i am, when it comes to money, i am a dwarf and hide in the corner without any single word.
Sorry...when i stayed up late at night and covered one book to another, i naively thought if i am well parpared, one day i will realize my dream, but i was overestimated this world...this realistic world. I even do not have the courage to ask my father whether i can study abroad for one year, well. so my dream has been already broken?
Sorry...I cried again but fortunately it left me with the courage to wipe my tears.
Post comment Comment (2 replies)
- Reply Illion
- Sophina, I know your feeling, but I think it`s just a chance, you still have more chances to study abroad if you want, you are so young...Sth in our life is predestined, maybe we can do nothing about it for the moment, but who knows, maybe it`s a gift that god sent to me from the day we were born...
