Blogs
Perfectionism Vs Excellence
I have started to write in a relatively serious way since only about two months ago when I encountered Dioenglish, most of writing prior to this were just emails and translation works which are quite substantial in quantity. But I love reading, has been exposing myself to many great writers, sometimes I just can’t wait to put the stir of my mind in writing, but i can’t finish them and have been lost in the course of writing for many times, don’t mention to upload these fragmentary work to this popular website. Then I encountered an article about perfectionism which shed a bright light on me for knowing better of myself. The astonishing fact found out through this article was that I have been a perfectionist for quite a long time which is so bad to the development of myself and a real obstacle to enjoy the journey of life.
Perfectionism, according to the writer, defined as an incapacitating fear of failure that is permeating our life, especially on those areas that we care about the most. I would like to elaborate further from my understanding of perfectionism.
A deep rooted fear of failure, because of the embarrassment and the frustration and the deviation from the ideal conceptions of ourselves, is due to perfectionism. While failure could be so valuable to our growth, when we were young back to toddler’s year, we try everything new and learn every new skill without the fear of failure, we learn so fast though not without thousands of times of failure. But during the course of growing up, perfectionism set in, due to the inappropriate praises we received, due to the perfect idealism from the media, every person is so handsome and so noble in the movie, pictures of model on the cover of magazines are so perfectly beautiful, man with immaculate image shining in every of the TV series, we started to cultivate a perfect image of ourselves accordingly, and dare not to try new things, because nothing or a perfect one. We procrastinate to take initiative to gain something important to our life because of perfectionism, we afraid to accept reality because it is not perfect, we reject our love because of some flaws, we hurt our self esteem and the relationship with others because of a perfect expectation, we virtually refuse everything because nothing is perfect. Rat racers are typical examples of perfectionism, they always thinking that life would be perfect after getting to a certain point of life, they maybe quite successful socially and economically, but not happy fundamentally, because pressure always mounts after they reached a certain goal of life, they may be happy at certain point of life but not happy throughout the journey, the process of life that covers most of their life.
Though perfectionism is rampant in society of nowadays, there are many others who have committed themselves to excellence. Accepting the fact that from point A to point B is not always a straight line, but a line of up and downs and a line of upward spiral, they stop in no time to take action with no fear of failure, and enjoy the journey to their heart content both from failure and success, they take time to have a wonderful meal with friends, expose themselves through reading to many great writers, enjoy the time with their family, a sustainable and happy growth is thus ensured.
Back to my writing, I am desperate to write a perfect work, longing for big applauses from all the readers, blogs on top five lists all the time, always mind boggling and always big shot, surrounded by flowers and flashes from every corner of the world. How perfect that would be? Reality, however, is that these are just my wildest imaginations, should not even be regarded as expectations, I ought to try as much as possible to get rid of the perfectionism which has been haunting me since very long time ago, learn to fail and fail to learn, try to commit myself to excellence and enjoy the journey, write as much as I can before writing something more beautiful and more meaningful. Just think like Winston Chruchill once said: all the writings are just drafts for a lifetime great work.
View AllAuthor's latest blogs
Post comment Comment (9 replies)
- Reply Davidsun
- Richardren, you think too much!
There would be lots of things that would distract you. From point A to point B, the shortest is the straight line. If you want to hit a nail, hit it right on the head, be it perfectionism or excellence.
What matters most is how much contribution you can make to the world; and how much value you can bring out of yourself.
- Reply rich
- i had similar experiences before , when i self-reflected on my life. oddly, i found that i also tended to pursue perfectionism. it is nothing wrong if we don't go too far. the cruel fact is that nothing is perfect in this world. so sometimes we do need to slow down and enjoy the little roses by the roadside. the upward spiral could be that we would eventually return to a simple life with a perceful contended mind.
- Reply Richardren
- Davidsun: Richardren, you think too much!maybe i am, but being a perfectionist create so many problems to my life, such as a unrealistic expectation to others as well to ourselves which would hurt the relationship as a fear of failure which is preventing me from taking actions. i think it would be better to striving for excellence while accepting the reality.
There would be lots of things that would distract you. From point A to point B, the shortest is the straight line. If
- Reply Richardren
- rich: i had similar experiences before , when i self-reflected on my life. oddly, i found that i also tended to pursue perfectionism. it is nothing wrong ifi agree with you, we all tend to be perfectionism to a certain degree, the point is that we should enjoy the journey with no fear of failure. a simple life with a perceful mind sounds so delicious to me, hehe, it must be the top level of life out of the three levels you mentioned in one of your blogs.
- Reply celina99
- seems if you care too much for something, it'll eventually get away from you. it's like holding a handful of sand. the tighter you hold it, the more you lose it. it's also true for the perfectionism, so just don't care that much. besides there's no complete perfection. why not just relax and free our mind to enjoy life more?
- Reply hurrymm
- Perfectionism makes perfectionists, who could gain rare popularity from people around them as they invariably show an intolerance to the flaws of their own and others. Gradually they isolate themselves from the rest and start into solitariness unconsciously. Though I may admire perfecionists for their tremendous personal career achievements , I would still love to shun them in daily life. To maintain a relationship entails a lot, such as patience, tolerance, compromise, but perfectinionism would never be on the list.
- Reply Richardren
- celina99: seems if you care too much for something, it'll eventually get away from you. it's like holding a handful of sand. the tighter you hold it, the more yi guess being on the side of perfectionism made me care too much for something, especially something important to me. too exact a requirement to others as well as to myself create a real obstcle to relationship and happiness. i think a mindset change is necessary, to relax and free my mind and enjoy the journey of life as you said.
- Reply Richardren
- hurrymm: Perfectionism makes perfectionists, who could gain rare popularity from people around them as they invariably show an intolerance to the flaws of theidear friend, though we have had only a few online cotact, but you always read my writing to the point, perfectionism should be avoided for it's detrimental effect to our wellbeing, and being aware of the problem is a major step to a mindset shift, i believe i can make it for a desire for a happy life is so strong in my mind. i guess such a desire is existed in most of us.
- Reply hurrymm
- Richardren: dear friend, though we have had only a few online cotact, but you always read my writing to the point, perfectionism should be avoided for it's detri"though we have had only a few online cotact, but you always read my writing to the point,"
Our similar ages and educational backgrounds may partly account for that. By the way, I attended college in 1998, and I take it that you did yours around the same year.
